A teachable moment this evening as my son was begging for his restoration of rights. “When can I get my video game back?” He asked, about 5 times before I finished preparing dinner.
“First of all, I’m not going to discuss this with you right now,” I told him. “Secondly, you aren’t listening to what I’m telling you. anyway”
“What,? I am sorry,” he said, “Besides, it wasn’t my fault, I told you. That teacher gave everyone an F.”
And that’s when I visibly cringed again. “Ok,” I said. “You are like watching one of those guys on an episode of COPS, right now, and I’m so telling you that I’m not going to listen to one more word of this. You are seriously ‘blame-shifting,’ and you know I’m the last person to tell this lame story to. Like I really am going to think your teacher framed you. Look, if you want to earn any points, start by accepting responsibility for your actions. You know one thing I absolutely hate is a person that makes excuses by lying and blaming someone else. Besides, this isn’t the only reason you have been restricted from this game.
Then the whining. “What else can I do? I keep saying I’m sorry.”
“So let me get this straight. You think that saying your sorry is the answer?” I was incredulous as he responded, “yes, that’s what you told me.” “No, I did not.”
He began to argue with me, and I stopped him. I pointed out his attitude and asked him who his spiritual authority is. He said, “God.” “No,” I told him. It actually is your parents. And we are to submit to God. We are called to watch over you and guide you spiritually and give account for you one day. This why you do not tell me how things are done. You do not talk back and you listen and learn. And I have a responsibility to the Lord for your spiritual well-being.
Now, I didn’t tell you to say your sorry for your actions but my desire is that you would be sorry and this is different. I can’t make you sorry.That’s why there are consequences. I’m hoping that this will help you to see what you have done and stop blaming other people. Actually, the bible speaks of repentance of “the changing of ones mind or direction.” That doesn’t happen when you are still blaming others. So, you know what he did? He said, I’m really sorry now!” lol Yea, I said, well, when I start seeing it in your attitude and not as part of your negotiations, I’ll let you know!
In the mean time, he did something radical. He started to play outside! Yes, that’s right. No Black Ops, or whatever it is he had been playing. And he grabbed a chameleon and started feeding it some bugs. I said, “if you are trying to make me sick and think I’m going to bow to pressure, you’re wrong!” But honestly, he almost broke me!
Then, he helped me clean out my car and we grabbed my hula hoops and started to play. He realized he had grown quite a bit since we used them last and we were cracking up as he claimed, “Hey, I lost my mojo!” I said, “I hope the neighbors are watching you now, cause, this is hilarious.” We found the kites and he decided we needed to go out tomorrow to fly them. He played hide and go seek with me and realized that I couldn’t hide like he could, since I was wearing bright pink and hiding behind a palm tree didn’t work in my form and colors. I even tried in the flower pot.
I told him when we were kids, we played “Chase,” in the project, and had maybe 20 kids running through the neighborhood. We would hide in trees and everything. We would play ‘500,’ off of the dumpsters, and double-dutch and in the park we would play slap stick and it’s where we learned how to do the ‘Hambone,’ which only the blacks could teach us. It was an incredible time back in the 60’s. I didn’t realize how amazing the times really were, but have had the benefit of being able to pass so much on to my children.
In an age of technology, when things are moving at an alarming rate, it is nice to press the pause button and breath. I realized today that my son had a chance to be a child again too. Perhaps with all of this stuff we really are robbing our children of the chance to be children and by depriving them of their toys, they really aren’t being deprived but they’re being enriched. Hmmm, just a thought.