My mom keeps jacking me around


Believe me that lady is a lot tougher than she looks.

Today, I went out with my mom to take her shopping.She is a lot smaller now than a few years ago, and the wind was blowing pretty strong.

We went into a store and on the way out, I heard the guy say, “enjoy the sunshine.” Oh, I thought, that was nice of him.

A few minutes later, I told my mom, she’d better take my arm because she’s only about 110 pounds, and the wind might blow her down. As we were walking toward the stairs, I saw a gust of wind blow her hair into her face and I recounted the whole scene, hundreds of times already, to hilarious laughter, I compare her to ‘cousin It,’ on the Addam’s Family. I couldn’t see her face and then I heard her going, “oh my gosh, as shebegan to fall. But her fall basically turned into a ‘sit’ on the stairs. Now, as she was doing this, she pulled me along with her. I was cracking up, as we both were in a sitting position within a couple of minutes.

We were laughing so hard, that as an older couple was walking up to us, they started laughing, and the guy said, “had a little too much to drink, huh?” Then we started laughing even harder.

Later,my mom said, “you know that sun was in my eyes.” I said, don’t even start mom. You pulled me down! She tried to say, “well, I think you might have been falling first.” I said, Are you kidding?” I’m sure there’s a video somewhere of this, and there are sure eyewitnesses that saw you pull me down!You’re not pinning this on me!  I can get you for jacking me around all over the place, and I don’t know if I can trust you to hold your arm anymore! Then we started laughing again.

I said, it reminded me of the time I went to the grocery store with my son and my brother. I was sure that this was another YouTube event. I was walking out of the store and let my mentally challenged brother push the cart. I mistakenly bent down, because I dropped my car keys. All I heard was my son scream, “Look out!” And I felt the cart slam right into my backside. Fortunately, I had the coordination to stay standing, but I looked back at my brother and he was so scared all he did was cover his mouth. I started laughing so hard I couldn’t stop. I just saw a visual of what this whole scene must have looked like and as I looked over to my right a bag boy was standing there and he was cracking up too! Sure enough, my eyes looked up and I said to my son, look, there’s a camera right there. I guarantee by this evening, we’ll be a sensation on the internet. I’m sure they’ll think it was staged.

But nope, these are the moments that go into the archives of our minds. I couldn’t even go grocery shopping today, without laughing to myself as I kept recalling the event with my mom. I told her, “People probably thought I was just crazy if they saw me. All of a sudden that image would pop into my head and I would have to suppress my laughter.”

I did warn her though, if you keep this up, I may have to call Child Protection Services, on you.