Some People Can Always Get What They Want

As Mick Jagger sings, And They Also “get what they need.

I just flew with a guy who was on my crew van and he was furiously trying to get ahold of some restaurant as we got to a hotel. He swore it was the best Italian place in Denver. Well he and I had bantered back and forth on the van for quite a while and by the time we arrived the hotel staff thought we had known each other for a long time.

He had been so gregarious that he asked the girl working the front desk if he could use her car to go pick up the food at the place in lieu of him placing an order for her as well. To this she agreed. I couldn’t believe it myself but she did! The guy was joking around with us as well and he wanted me to go along. He said I would simply love this place and he wanted my company. I realized that I really wasn’t that hungry, but for some reason I really liked this guy as witty as he was, so I said I would go along for the ride.

I told him,  I would be ready in about 10 minutes and he waited downstairs.

Sure enough, there he was, keys in hand and although she asked,”are you sure you’re a safe driver?” He answered, “Of course I am! “Well, what else was he going to say at this point? He wanted his food after all.

We drove about 20 minutes to this place which happened to be an, Italian/Mexican, place, which is a little strange, if you ask me. That’s just plain confusing. I mean they’re on two separate parts of the planet for one thing and they speak two completely different languages. It’s like a pizza and a Tostada. Ok, that’s all I’m going to say about that.

On the way there, he was driving like a maniac. Good thing the girl did not see him. At one point he said, “Hey, something smells, weird. It smells like pot! Do you smell that?? “Oh, that’s great,” I said. I can just see that. We get arrested, cause this girl has pot in her glove compartment!” At this point I look at her glove compartment and notice it has a lock on it. “Hey!” He says, “I still don’t even know your name!” “Oh, I don’t know yours either!” We both start cracking up at this point. “Oh my gosh!” I said, I can see this now. The police pull us over and arrest us. We are thrown in jail and they contact the company. How did we come into possession of this car? The girl denies having knowledge of our having this vehicle because she has pot in her glove compartment, she claims it’s been stolen! We are laughing hysterically at this point. So we are now booked on felony charges for this stupid spaghetti.

At any rate, we go into a grocery store to get some soda before going to the Italian/Mexican restaurant and he comments on the unhealthy salad bar. He then turns around to see some cotton candy and is jumping up and down like a five-year old at a carnival! I had to point out his hypocrisy, which he did not want to hear, and of course, he picked the purple bag, which in my mind would have been the most artificial, but probably the bag was healthier than any of it.

We finally picked up the food. Got gas for the girl’s car. Actually paid cash and had to figure out how to do it. It had been 20 years since either one of us had to use cash. He drove like a bat out of hell on the way back and I closed my eyes half the way back.

The girl was relieved when we walked in, you could tell. As he handed her the food and he told her he filled her tank.I was impressed at how he had managed to manipulate all of us so well. I realized he literally go all of us to do his bidding. Because as I found later, the spaghetti really wasn’t that good.

The next morning, as we left the hotel, I got up extra early. I wanted to wash and blow dry my hair. As fate would have it, my blow dryer was not working. This….BLOWS!!!!! sorry Soooo I hung my head over my air vent. No kidding. That’s what I tried to do. It still was wet.

I was laughing when I saw my friend and we were cracking up on the van. Two hours early for what? A wet head and looking like crap? And he was all stressed out because the van still left late and he was in the same situation I was in when I had my last trip. He was watching all the cars and vans passing us on the freeway and he was sweating .

He said, “I should get on that bus that’s passing us. I can walk faster than this van!Now my friend was so upset, that when we were dropped off, he ran off, never to be seen again. We were so close, almost cell mates, and now, I may never see him again. Such is the life of a flight attendant.