Give Me Your “Throwaway’s”


As I was speaking about my brother to someone one day, he said, “Well you know most people consider people like him, as “a throwaway.” This infuriated me. The mere thought, that he could be referred to in this manner. Yet, I know, that it is true. Once, these beautiful souls become, “Wards of the State,” you cannot imagine the horror’s that await them.

The elderly, the orphans, and the mentally challenged. All require protection and the exploitation, which is taking place is unimaginable. And it’s only detected by someone with a watchful eye. But someone with a heart of compassion. Not too many, I have sadly found, have this heart.

But, in the end, I am happy to take the “throwaway.’s. I’m just making sure that what belongs to them is returned, so they receive the care that they deserve.

One thing that these greedy people have never taken into account, in their schemes, is there is a supreme God, and that He is the one who holds all things in account. He has His people on this earth, working out His plans. He has people filled with His spirit. We see things which the average person does not see.

This is why He tells us that His plans are not worked out through “Might,nor power, but by His Spirit.” No man can put a stop to what He is doing. It has already been accomplished.

As frustrated as I become, at times, I must remind my own mind of this. That, “His kingdom, shall come, and His will , shall be done, on this earth, as it is in heaven.” My job is to just be obedient to His plan. As much as I hurt inside at the pain, I know the outcome.

I also know that His suffering was great and if He was, “a man of sorrows,” I am the bride of Christ, so I would also be “filled with suffering.”

But one day, “He will wipe every tear from my eyes.” All I can say is, He is going to need a huge Kleenex for this, because I’m filled with tears. Some nights, I lie in my bed and almost can’t wait, to close the door, to be alone, just to cry. I hurt for so many others. It’s not for myself. It’s the pain of my brother,my mother, my daughter, my father. Everything, that hurts comes pouring out like a river, and I feel as if I’m walking with a fire inside of me.

I truly understand the meaning of our seeing the Lord face to face, when He utters the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant, enter into your rest.” I don’t know that feeling until that day.

But, my feeling of compassion for the hurting in this world is so strong.I see them, crushed by the system. And one day it is coming to an end. Babylon will fall.

Now I was reading about her demise this morning. She is a picture of greed and adultery. All the merchants of the earth and the powerful people, who had refused to let go of their associations with her. The Lord issues warnings to all, to “come out of her.” I have been instrumental in being part of this warning to agencies as well.”

There are government agencies which have become corrupted, which we have seen. They have exploited God’s people, and taken that, which does not belong to them. Now the Lord is issuing His call. “Come out of her my people so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her plagues; for her sins are piled up to heaven.

and God remembered her crimes.

Give back to her as she has given; pay her back double for what she has done. Mix her a double portion from her own cup. Give her as much torture and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself.

In her heart she boasts, “I sit as a queen; I am not a widow, and I will never mourn. Therefor in one day her plagues will overtake her; death, mourning and famine. She will be consumed by fire, for might is the Lord God who judges her.”

Now, if you continue to read, you will see, that this is the beginning of fallout for this great nation and I am seeing this with my own eyes. There are some out there who happen to know exactly how this is playing out. We all have the playbook. It’s in His Word.

The little things which people skipped over in scripture are sometimes the most important. When the Lord was being challenged about taxes, for example; He held a coin before the Pharisees and uttered the simple words, “Render unto Cesar, that which is Cesar’s, and unto God, that which is God’s.”

For some people, they have robbed both God, and Cesar, and this is where, the Lord, is the most angry. But when they, rob, and refer to these priceless souls as discards, this is deplorable.

I’m not sure if it’s the reason I’ve always loved shopping thrift stores. But, I love to find the ‘one of a kind,’ item. This is what I see with my ‘throwaways.’ The one that is unique. No one else noticed how priceless this one is, but I did.

Yes, the coal, under so much pressure, to produce this priceless diamond. And now I can see the different facets and the light of beauty created by this intense heat and pressure.

I don’t want what everyone has. I want what cast off. What you deem as useless. I want to see what the Lord can do, so that I can say, He did this. So that I can’t boast, but that the glory of the Lord can shine through that vessel.

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The Simple Life


My brother is just so funny. I feel blessed to have him in my life. He makes me laugh so hard.  It’s wonderful for my mother to share this time with him too, since he had been living apart from her for many years.

I’ve noticed that he and the other people with special needs bring home beautiful pictures. The other day I was looking at this picture and I said, “Kevin, this is not yours. You’ve taken someone else’s picture by mistake.” He promptly picked up a pen and crossed out the other persons name and wrote his own name on the top! Then he said, “There you go.” As if life is just that easy. Take what you want. I wonder how many times he’s seen that done I thought. “Hmm,” I said. “He’d make a great attorney!”

My mother and I were laughing so hard at him. In his world forgery was nothing. If you like it, make it yours.

I looked at all of the artwork and started looking at the things in my home. I realized that life is just too short to collect things. The beauty of simple things that the artwork my brother produces, is better than anything one can purchase.

I sat in my living room and was sad when I noticed a small cardboard box which held the belongings which my mother was left with after being moved from her home. I took a picture. I cried to think this was so important to her.The Barbie dolls which she used to knit clothing for. No one could believe that she could do this and it was something that she took great pride in. The little Charlie Brown that plays music. The pictures. I managed to get the bronze shoes from my brother Dennis who had passed away as a baby. These she somehow never lost in all of her shuffling through the years. It is difficult to see my mother’s life reduced to a cardboard box. But then I look around and feel the weight of all the things in my life holding me down. I don’t want anything in my life. I can’t stand things holding me back from what is important. I hate greed and what it does to people. It hurts me to see what it has done. I don’t want to take care of things. Although I love looking at my brother’s pictures. And my mother’s things. It’s cute, but we all have the propensity to collect. So I want to bring joy to other’s by giving.

Now I got my mom into a pottery class to learn something new. She was making me laugh with her antics. When the teacher told her to “pinch her pot,” she said, “What?” “Yea, I said, “That meant something completely different in the 70’s!” Now she’s learning a different skill at 82 and she’ll be able to make new memories and so will I.

I realized that life is not about owning things. In fact the more time I spend with my mother, the more fleeting I see that our time is on this earth. I see that those who have robbed and tried to fill their lives with things, are missing the most important qualities.

My mother and I listened to my brother talking last night. He was telling us about the lipstick that he was going to give his girlfriend at school. He was going to put it in his purse. It’s really a fannypack. He crams all kinds of stuff into that purse. Sometimes I’ll check it just too unload some things. It’s so stuffed full. I just have to see what he’s carrying around and it’s funny. Pictures of things unrelated. I try to connect the subjects, but can’t seem to and move on. The objects make no sense,but they amuse me.

The keychains that I have given him have all found a place on this pack. I have actually had to remove some,because it has become unsafe. The weight of this is ridiculous. And the fact that one of them is a round basketball for coins, makes it hilarious with his gait and when he bowls, underhanded, my son made the remark that it’s a good thing I didn’t give him the bull’s you know what, to hang from this pack, or it would be quite a sight to behold, when he bends down to bowl! This visual just made me crack up.

He is very animated. And when he tells us that someone threw up at school it’s hilarious. He is over the top. I don’t think it happened the way he tells us and at times, I only wish I could place a hidden camera on him. There was one day that he told me that one person threw up and another girl was told that “she stinks and needed to go into the bathroom,” while the teacher was spraying the bathroom. And later, he said the same girl was his girlfriend. My son, who is not easily grossed out, said, “Come on, I don’t want to hear this! You’re girlfriend stinks!” And my brother as proud as could be, said, “Yes, she stinks! Right?” Wow! That’s unconditional love at it’s best! And, all I can say is, those special education teacher’s work very hard, and deserve pay raises!!! Treat them well. They’re very special people.

But,people like my brother are also very special and he keeps me centered. I sometimes find I’m taking him for granted and when I come back to him, I find humor in his simple words and beauty in the world around him. It is just what God was trying to point out to all of us and the reason He told us that “the meek would inherit the earth.”

Look at what a mess we have made of all of this. Greedy people have tried to use people like my brother for selfish gain. I’ve had people say, “They look at your brother like a throwaway.” That has brought me unspeakable pain.” Yes, even at his birth they thought he wouldn’t live. But God had a different plan. And his plans were to bring men to repentance through my brother. Yes, my brother who is so innocent. Who would take an art project and cross someones name and sign his name, would do this with anything. He knows no difference. He tells me everything costs “a hundred dollars.”

But who cares? My brother puts everything in perspective. Whether it a billion dollars or a penny, in his mind it’s the same price. Just as the value of a soul is worth more than everything. And as the Lord has said, “Woe to the man who gains the whole world, yet loses his own soul.”