Dr Jesus Please Heal Me

Today was a hard day. They begin to blend together. One heartache after another. I find myself going off to cry quietly.
Because the flu is going around, it’s easy to pretend I have a touch of something.
My son is home educated, so I don’t have the benefit of hiding.

I’ve had sadness with my daughter. She seems like she’s slipping away from me. I feel as if I’m holding on by a thread.
I committed to pray for my children, and her especially. I told the Lord each morning as I ran on my treadmill, I would commit myself to fervent prayer.
Asking Him to “bring my daughter back from captivity. To do “whatever it takes.” Knowing perfectly well, that God hears me, and I probably won’t like the suffering involved. But I also know it’s my love for her and my responsibility for her soul, that causes me to plead with Him.

I received a sign from Him. Her life is beginning to unravel, and I ended up going to the doctor. I sprained my ankle. Yes, that’s right, on the treadmill.
Never remembering how I twisted it or turned it. I was in pain. I realized that I had been running so hard and pushing myself physically, but also spiritually.
Crying out in anguish and now my ankle is a constant reminder of her. My little girl.

Dealing with my mother is difficult as well. I received a call from the senior facility to ask me if she was going to be coming. They said that they have a spot for her but she would lose it if she doesn’t come.
She went twice, and then adamantly refused to go any more.
I was trying to brainstorm with the administrator, when I remembered how she had responded to her doctor after refusing to take her medication. I told her that I had the idea to tell him, “if he would tell her to take them, she would listen.”
It worked like a charm. He simply looked at her and said, “Honey, listen. You have to take your medicine for me, okay?” She looked at him and said, “Okay, until I go back to Wisconsin, I will.”
The doctor and I both looked at each other and smiled.

When I told the woman this, she said, “Maybe you should try that and have some male pretend to be  her doctor or something.” I said, “Yes, I think I can come up with something.”
I went to my son, and asked him to be the doctor. He was going to have a script which I would make for him and he would call my phone. I would give the phone to her and take it from there.
As I handed him the script, I had to make a few corrections-“oh, have to change that,” I said. It said, “Your daughter,” and she no longer recognizes that I’m her daughter.

I told her that her doctor had called and he would be calling back. “What is it about?” She asked. “Oh, I don’t know. He said he had something to speak with you about. “Oh, I hope I don’t have to go and see him,” she said.
As my son was coming down the stairs with his script and his phone he said, “Oh, I should get time for this under ‘Extra Curricular Activity, called conning the elderly!” At this I started laughing and could barely contain myself as I listened to him calling my phone.

Because I was in the threshold, I could hear his voice in the living room and on my phone. I really had to work hard to suppress a laugh, as I handed the phone to my mom. I looked and also noticed his picture coming up on the phone so, I carefully handed it to her. She had a hard time holding “these new phones,” anyway, so I stuck it up to her ear. “It’s your doctor,” I said.
“Oh!” She sounded excited. As I listened to him carefully reciting the words, I couldn’t help but think how ingenious this seemed. I even put references about her move to Wisconsin.”
“Yes, I noticed that your blood pressure is pretty high, on the tests I have.” The doctor said. “I understand you are planning to move back to Wisconsin and before you do this, we need a plan to get you healthy. I am authorizing one day a week at a center for you to speak with a nutritionist and get some exercise.”
I heard her say, “Oh yes, but I can’t move back yet. I have to wait until it’s warm.”
Now in a normal conversation, Dr. so-and-so would respond to that. But my son, not willing to deviate from the script, continued as if he was an automated phone message.
It did surprise me, however, to know that she really doesn’t want to go as much as she pretends.
At the end of the message he asked to speak to me. As I took the phone I continued on as if he was giving me more instructions. My son just making sounds once in a while.
After I hung up, my mom said, “I like that doctor. He’s so nice!”
I told her that this would be a day available to her to give her the physical and nutritional help to get her strong.
She was actually excited about this.
I called the administrator back and told her what we did. She laughed so hard and said, “And the Academy Award goes to….”

Later, as I was speaking about my grief at the situation with my daughter, my mother said, “It has to be so hard. You love her so much. She’s your daughter. I think that would be so hard, if I had to deal with that with my daughter.”
“Yes,” I thought. It would be hard. But the fortunate thing is that, she has dealt with many heartaches, including these with her daughter. She just doesn’t know it.
She looked so sweet again, as she said, “It will be okay. She’s a good girl.” I remembered her saying that all my life. Every time there was a crisis.”It will be okay.”

I thought of my daughter when she was young. She started getting warts on her feet. My stepson had them on his hands and they are very contagious. When he showed her the surgery he had to remove them, she was terrified.
I made a comment that, “I’ll have to take her to the doctor.” When she heard this she screamed. “No! Please mommy! I want Dr. Jesus to heal them!” She was crying at the thought of someone cutting her. She was so young. About 4 or 5. I felt so convicted at her words.
“Wow,” I thought. I haven’t even prayed about this. So I asked her if she really believed He could heal her. “Yes,” she said. “Okay, we’re going to pray.”
I put some oil on her feet as I prayed along with her.
The very next day, I noticed a miraculous thing, which had me rubbing my own eyes in bewilderment. It looked like little chalk specks on her feet. Every place which had a wart, or one just starting, just turned to powder. I began touching those little feet, and saw them drop off! I was amazed. But I remembered the Lord’s words, that “it is your faith which make you whole.”
My pastor commented, “If she has this kind of faith now, can you imagine what she’ll be like when she’s older?”

I keep standing on His promises for her life. I now feel the incredible pain which the Prodigal Father had felt, when his son went out of his home into darkness.
The hurt and concern attached to his well-being. I’m praying that I will also experience the joy of restoration.
With every painful step I take, I pray, Dr. Jesus please heal us!

The Famine

Pray for fertile soil

When the seals are broken you will see each one as  a sign on the earth. Our God is patient and long-suffering with His children.

A great famine will come and all the food shortage will be so great that the price of food will be astronomical. These articles speak of the aquifer’s drying up and our nations think that our resources are eternal. It’s all a product of corruption in nature and mankind.

The volcanic ash has just been spread all over this planet and the last time this happened, this affected crops for years. We must have spiritual eyes to see what God is doing, and go to Him for guidance and direction

Ask Him, what He would have us do in these circumstances. Famine and plague, come together as one. People need to be prepared for what’s about to come upon this earth. God doesn’t bring evil. But He does have a permissive will. We must always keep this in mind. Through the sin of one man, Adam, all of creation was held hostage, so to speak. Jesus, came to break that bondage, but the redemption has to be at His return. All of this will take place at the Father’s appointed time. We cry out for his return, because of the evil we see, and this is why our hearts cry, “Thy kingdom come, They will be done.”But there are many who do not yet know the love of the Father, and this is why He is long-suffering. “He desires that none should perish, but all should come to the knowledge of Him.” So He will allow the evil to break the hearts of men and bring them closer to Him.This is why we cannot serve Him, if we are holding on to anything. You cannot serve two masters. In these days, take nothing with you. He told His disciples to take nothing. Don’t hold onto this world. It is passing away.

Read your bibles. Revelation tells the story and there are great studies for this particular book. You can open any newspaper and see whats happening is being laid out right before yours eyes. It’s not a prophetic genius to tell you that.

My cousin texted me the other day about the volcano, flood in the Middle East, earthquakes, and the meteor in Wisconsin. He mentioned that Nostradamus had said something about this. I said, “forget him. What’s did the Lord tell you about all this? “And when you see all these things beginning to happen, Look up! Your redemption draws near!”

I have to put things in the simplest terms for him. But that’s just my point, even he, is beginning to see that things are not, as they’ve always been. And they most certainly will not go back to the way they were before.

When the Lord said, this earth will go through the pains as if a woman in labor, well, most men, just simply cannot relate to that. But let me tell you, a woman, once in labor, cannot make the child go back into the birth channel. Cannot make the contractions stop, once they’ve started. Cannot make them less severe.Any of the gurus, or talk show host’s telling you everything is “peace and love, are just plain ‘full of it’. The apostle Paul even spoke of people like this as he said the Lord will come like a thief in the night “while people are saying peace and safety, destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman.” (1Thess.5:3)

 They become more and more intense, and for a very specific and glorious purpose! Just as this earth is going through its own earth pains and patiently awaits the redemption by our Saviour! We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly, as we await eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. (Romans 8:22)

Keep your eyes on the Shepherd. He watches over His flock. When the sheep watch the shepherd they watch nothing else. They are basically dumb animals and will stumble off the side of a cliff if they do not have a guide. But the interesting thing is that if there are wolves surrounding the pack of sheep and the shepherd is carefully keeping watch over his flock,  the sheep will not watch the wolves, they will listen to the voice of the shepherd and they will follow him only. They are comforted by his voice and they do not fear the wolves. We are to look only to our Good Shepherd and not at the wolves in this world. Satan and his minions have no power over us. They roam to and fro, but our Lord has overcome this world.

  “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want, He makes me to lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me. (Psalm 23:1-4)

So, you see, we must be comforted by the Word of God. Not terrified. We must be comforted by the Lord and not seek solace in the World, but the Word. There is not other but Him and this is the whole purpose and plan for the outpouring of His this final judgment, is to allow the fullness of His love and redemption to unfold. The hardness of men’s hearts is already apparent when you turn on the news.

In the end what has happened is our society has poked Gods eye and turned their back on Him. In Romans 1:18-32 This details what has happened to mankind and what the Lord’s plan is for us as a result. However, He speaks that we are “without excuse, since He’s made His presence known since the beginning, by revealing Himself, His divine qualities, his eternal power, so when we stand before Him we cannot say it wasn’t plain to us.”v19 Then it goes on to say that “they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped created things rather than God. And because of this, God turned them over, to shameful lusts. v.25

Basically, this is what we do as parents with our own children, if they continue to rebel at an age of accountability. When they’re on their own, we turn them over.  We have no choice But to allow them to go their own way This is the basic, prodigal son/daughter. As much as it hurts us, there’s nothing we can do. We watch them and pray for their return and their safety, and it hurts. This is the heart of our Father. And now you may have an understanding of the Revelation and the outpouring of the final judgments on the earth. It was our own desires to turn from His love. Just as it was Lucifer’s desire to rebel and take a third of the angels. That final war is against God’s kingdom and he’s trying to take the Lord’s children with him.

Our Father is trying to restore you to your rightful place in His arms. If you are the prodigal child, He’s still waiting with opened arms for your return.(Luke 15:11)

Why Am I So Special?


He leaves the 99 to go after the one


I was still sick the last few days.  In fact I had to bow out of a fundraiser yesterday. But, when I did, I assumed it was because the Lord did not want me there anyway. 

 I did happen to celebrate Passover and would not fail to give thanks to the Lord for all He had done on this special night. It is so symbolic for all of us, Jew and Gentile and we are approaching Easter as well. 

But last night I was coughing all night again and had finished the round of antibiotics and my side was just aching. 
I must have most run down immune system in the last few years. I have been to the doctor’s and er more than my whole life. This is getting ridiculous. But now I had gone to an urgent care clinic and after all the medicine was over, I was left with more problems and still no answers. I never had the original doctor actually test for anything.
So today I went right to the hospital non emergency clinic for some answers.
Well, before I went my son and daughter prayed for me. I told them I just felt like crap and I was not able to get rid of that pain in my lungs. They could hear me coughing all the time anyway and I’m pretty sure they were getting tired of It was cute to hear my son saying, “and Lord if my mommy feels convicted about anything, let her know what it is.” Why I outta!” lol (Hmmm, then I did..cause immediately I thought, his dad probably taught him to say that) so of course I had to repent immediately. Geesh! What a battle was going on in my mind while my son was praying.
Yes, I know sickness can come from doors that are opened to the enemy in our lives. Sometimes.If a person is suffering or fearful and they have very   obvious sin in their lives, it’s usually a no-brainer. I say that, however, even after telling some people they do not act in obedience to the direction of the Holy Spirit and then it is called grieving the Holy Spirit. Some people are warned by the Lord and He tells them in scripture, “stop sinning or something worse may happen.” I don’t even make mention to people about this, because it just gets into “shooting the messenger.” This is why the prophets in the Old Testaments were never popular. Always a buzz kill.
 But this isn’t always the reason for sickness or tribulation.
Job was a righteous man and remember his friends thought he was being persecuted  by God. The enemy had to receive permission to torment him.His premise was that Job would not be quite so righteous if the Lord didn’t bless Him so much.  So this is not always the case. Sometimes it is a test of our faith. So be careful to bless the Lord at all times.
Earlier in the day I was planting some seeds with my son. He had given me some sunflower seeds and I bought some topsoil. I was raking out the weeds.
I thought of the parable of the seeds and the Lord speaking of ” some seeds falling on stony ground and never taking root. Some fall into the soil and are choked out by weeds.(meaning the cares of this world) Some take root in fertile soil and bear much fruit. He speaks about the seed being planted and the enemy comes to steal the seed the minute it is planted.”
All of this is the word of God as it relates to us. I was really interested in this as I was planting and watching this. I could almost pick out the people in my life that I could compare this to as well. The stony, the weeds, the fertile soil that bore fruit that fed others and had more and more. At one point in my life I looked at “spiritual children”that I had next to me in church and was amazed to see their children and on and on! When the Lord opened my spiritual eyes to this scripture and showed me the true meaning, he reminded me that one day we see all of our fruit that we have ‘born’ for the kingdom when we arrive.
We just keep sowing and planting.
Later my sons dad came over to get him, I told my brother  and my daughter Iwas going to the hospital for some tests and I’d be gone for a little whle.
As I was sitting in the waiting room  there was some kind of turmoil breaking out with a young kid next to me. He was with his mom and dad and he started swearing.
I pulled out a prayer-book that I have in my purse and just began to meditate on some prayers and then I started praying for him and all of the people in the room. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that I was “preparing the soil.
I saw a man who had been in the other waiting room being wheeled in to this room now. He was staring at me.
Now a police officer was in the room with us and apparently this kid had been the cause of an accident and fled the scene of the crime to come to the hospital. Hmmm, can’t hide from the Holy Spirit. He polices the world. He settled down and the officer told him his options. He still had to leave with crutches.
Now, I’m still praying, praying and something happens. The room, which was full is now empty…except two people. Me and the man in the wheelchair. He stealthily moves from his chair to the chair next to mine.
He moans in great pain and he reeks of alcohol. Whew!
My prayer-book, which is pretty plain. A little book but a bold title…is in hand.
He looks at me and says, “So what are you here for?” haha”Makes me think this is a pattern of behavior for this guy, but whatever the Lord wants.
Now I am starting to realize, that I’m not here for my reasons at all. Yes, that’s right. I’m the Lord’s servant. I go wherever He sends me. Today He brought me here. No, I didn’t have door open except to allow my Lord to send me to Gil. That’s his name.
“Well, I tell him, I went to the doctor and he told me I had bronchitis, but I still have problems with coughing, so I think they have to do x-rays. What about you.”
He tells me”Oh, I was changing the time on a clock and the ladder slipped and I said, wtf?! I fell on my back! ” yes his language was pretty racy even with kids in the room.
“Did the ambulance bring you? “I was going to let them but I decided to drive myself.”
“How could you drive like that? The Lord must have had a legion of angels to protect you,” I said. “Oh, no, I only have one on my right side.” he said
As we continued to talk, he asked me about my life and of course tried the “where’s your husband question.”
Yes,he wanted to know all about my life. I told him about a man who was in prison and he had been so angry and he told me that he didn’t fear men but of the things he didn’t understand he had great fear.This man said, “I can understand that.” Yes, I said, I always thought that was a petty wise statement.
“Hey, do you think I’ve ever been in prison?” He asked me. (Well, I wanted to say, there really isn’t any reason for me to believe you haven’t but I didn’t)
“Have you?”Then he showed me his pinky finger that had been sliced all the way down by the guys when he was released. He was cut down to the tendon and he said “What I did to them wasn’t very nice.” So you returned evil with evil.”
He used some choice words to describe what he did,but in his own way I’m guessing he thought he got his revenge.
At any rate, he was clearly undateable. lol
Seriously, I looked at him and said, do you know I went across the country to see a man before he died? A total stranger.
Another man who was released from prison to give him a birthday cake he’d never had.
At that moment he looked at me as if it had just dawned on him that I was not the woman he had thought I was “you’re not one of those”
“Servants of the Lord?” Oh, yes, when I first saw you sitting in the main lobby I knew it was you.” I told him.
“What?! Why am I so special?”
Now, I saw it…what I see all the time when the Holy spirit touches someone and takes the heart of stone an replaces it with a heart of flesh.
“Because I said, He is the Good Shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep and goes to find the one who is lost.”
“The Lord is concerned about the very least of these and they are the greatest of all to Him.” At this I saw his eyes well up with tears. He wasn’t acting quite as cocky right at this moment.
“Why didn’t he catch me when I fell off the Ladder?”
I started to laugh considering his circumstances, because I was wondering all along if he had been drinking when he was on the ladder, which may have been what cushioned the fall.
“You didn’t die, did you? “No, he answered.
“Well then I’d say He did catch you.  Because, no you didn’t. But He did. die. He died for you.Did you know that?”
“Yes, he said.” As if it really was no big deal. Not as big a deal as him falling off of a ladder anyway.
“I’m Catholic.” Oh, here we go again, with that silly security blanket that can’t do anything for anyone. (A Catholic that also has fallen off of a ladder,hmm…wonder if there’s a saint for that)
“Hey, when you die and stand before the Lord, He sure isn’t going to ask you anything except did you accept HIM  as your savior. PERIOD, END of STORY!!!!
Then he points to his back as if he is a true believer and tells me, ” well I have a tattoo of Philippians 4:13 on me somewhere. It says…Um”
Now I have all the word in me, but I can honestly tell you scripture and verse, I’m not too proficient at, but the Holy Spirit brought it right to the tip of my tongue. And Gil had no idea, what the verse was at all even though it’s written on his own body. I said, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” “That’s right!” He said! “How did you know that?””
“Well, you know what? The only weapon of our warfare that does any harm against the enemy is “the Word of God.” You are wearing it on your body.You need to remember this if someone tells you that you need surgery or you are falling. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
“Are you bs** me?” “No I”m helping you! Do you remember when Jesus was fasting in the desert for 40 days? The devil came to him and said, “Hey , you’re God, why don’t you turn these stones into bread? And the Lord said what? “It is written, Thou shalt not live by bread alone, but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of God!” So now you have Gods word written on you.  You probably just did it as a fashion statement in prison, but it’s a very powerful tool against your enemy. You have at least one scripture you can use. That’s a start.”
All of a sudden in unison, a woman was banging on the door and a nurse was calling my name. Gil wanted my number, which I was not going to give him.
I would be more than happy to point Him to Christ and to a church, but not engage him in a false hope of following a woman.
He begged please can I have your number. That’s just silly I thought. Like Peter said to the beggar, “silver and gold have I none, but what I have I give to you.’ I mean, I’m offering this man the riches of the kingdom of God and he wants my phone number! I just know that my Lord is laughing with me!
But the Lord will water those seeds if they fell into fertile soil.
My lungs were clear so I thanked the Lord for His healing touch and using me to serve Him any way He chooses.
I started to remember when I had fallen down back in the winter and the little episode with the doctor and his clinic that the Lord had taken me to.
What a strange journey that was and now every time I turn on the news I see another pain clinc being exposed, but it was that doctors day for the Lord to speak. The Lord doesn’t deal with entities. He deals with people. He doesn’t deal with corporations, He deals with souls.And when He does, He sends His servants.
He knows where He sending me because I wont shrink back.
As a servant we must realize that we did not come to this earth to “be served, but to serve.”

The Groaning of the Spirit

In Romans 8:22 we are told that “all of creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.

In verse 26 it says, “in the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

Last night, all night long, I experienced this. My left side hurt me. I was in excruciating pain, as I was diagnosed with bronchitis and my left lung was hurting every time I coughed. Yet I found myself having dreams of sorrow. And I was hearing the wind blowing outside my window, and the Lord reminded me of His own side being pierced and the blood and water that ran out. All the sorrow He experienced at that moment. Everything in his heart as it spilled out from his side. All the sorrow of the world.

Each time I woke up I heard groans from my own mouth and thought this was the Spirit pleading to the Father and tears were coming down from my cheeks. Now this has happened to me before, but last night it was one episode after another. At one point my daughter was walking down the hall and I actually thought she heard me. I wondered what in the world was causing me so much sorrow and at one point I remembered thinking of a man I pray for every night before I sleep. I believe he thinks he has committed the unforgivable sin. I think it was the reason for the confrontation by the two girls the other day. They were in some way, representatives for him.But the Lord has assigned me to certain people within the framework of my own company and uniquely linked me to them. A few of them have been threaded from my past as well. The Lord has used many incidents, both good and evil to knit all of us together in this, ‘coat of many colors’ This is how God works. Some has been identically linked to my father’s death. Nothing in the Lord’s plans are ever coincidental. They are always perfectly orchestrated and in His timing. Everything is meant to bring us to the place of understanding that we are not beyond our need of forgiveness, nor are any of these sins  “unforgivable.” Man has a way of not being able to “let themselves off the hook,” in life. Because of the lies of the enemy and this is what keeps them in the darkness. They seek absolution and it is the one thing that seems out of  reach. They are deceived into a false system of religion until the end. At some point a person begins to buy into the lie that, they always have time to cop a plea at the last breath. Who wants a life like this anyway? That isn’t the ‘abundant life’ that Christ had promised.

This is why I have been linked in the chain to these people. It has been keeping me up at nights, and groaning as verse 27 states, “And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” Whatever the Spirit is praying for these people I know  it is breaking them, and it brings sorrow.

I have had many wicked spirits trying to stand as a human shield in efforts to stand in my way and almost discourage me, but it won’t work. I know my calling. I have been through a lot in my life and the enemy deceived me for a while. Yes, he almost made me run in terror, but I won’t forsake the ones I’ve been called to, so he can just flee now.”Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.(James 4:7)

 “He who wins souls is wise. (Proverbs 11:30) So I keep praying, “Lord give us time. Let them know they are forgiven. Let them stop trying to justify themselves and know that you’ve already done that for them.”