Let Me Stay Low


Someone had admonished me about not addressing them by their title the other day. And I was amused by this. It was a person who had sent an email suggesting I be concerned about, “making a name for myself.” As if I really care about such things.

I have long since lost my desire for finding identity in worldly endeavors such as this, and have found the whole need for greed and identity is what has gotten our world system in the mess which it is in. The Lord has told us that we are in the grips of sin. It is why He came to redeem us.

It is also why He taught a very important lesson to His disciples the night He was betrayed. He washed their feet. At first, it was almost impossible for Peter to accept this example and Jesus pointed out that unless he learned this example, he would have no part in this ministry.The Son of God, came to serve, not to be served. What an incredible example to mankind.

I’ve often thought of this. The feet of our Lord. How He has shown so many examples of this. The dirtiest part, which at that time of history, walked the dusty roads. The woman, anointed His feet with her oil, her tears, and dried them with her hair. Yet, she felt more filth on the inside, and all the shame she felt, those accusers standing by, were worse, for the thoughts. In one message spoken, our Lord, silenced their wagging tongues, and cleansed her. Not only cleansed her, but also honored her among women. “Her name would be honored throughout history.” Mary Magdalene.

The woman who reached out in a throng of people to grab a piece of his garment. Just a touch. But faith so strong, to be healed. Crawling like an animal on the ground. In the dirt. If she could just get a touch. No pride. If she could just get something, anything. Let me just stay down. Who cares what anyone thinks about me? I just need a touch.

Isn’t this what our Lord wants? Be of no reputation. As He was. No identity. No pride. Nothing that the enemy can play with. Stay low. At His feet. Dirty and in need of Him. Knowing our need is the beginning of our healing. The foot of the cross.

“But He made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.” (phillipians 2:7)

So, help me stay low. I want to be at your feet Lord. There’s no greater place in all of heaven and earth.

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Touch Me


The Leper Healed by His Touch

I have gone through a healing and deliverance. I can see so clearly. I look back on my walk as a believer and see the mountain experiences. When it seemed I was at the very peak of my spiritual existence and I couldn’t get any higher. I was with the Lord, on the Mountain of Transfiguration.

Then, there I was, plummeting to the ground. Battered and bruised. A total mess. I was so deep in the valley, I felt that looking a pair of Converse shoes, was a tall order. Yet, I still had enough strength left in me, to reach out. If I could just, but “touch the hem of His garment, I would be healed.”

Yes, so many times, I thought I was healed. But we all have this journey that we’re on. And we haven’t arrived. It is the experience in the valley, which teaches us. This morning, He had so much, that He wanted to show me.

I felt a lightness in my spirit. I felt my joy, returning. I know, because I can get outside of myself, and look at others, in their pain and suffering, and feel compassion. Yet, more than that, I want to touch it. I long for them to be healed. To know the Savior’s love and comfort, in the midst of their suffering.

He reminded me this morning of the grief I had felt after the loss of my brother. As I realized that is was his death, which brought me to the knowledge of Him, He also showed me that now, His calling was for me to touch others. My brother’s death was not in vain. Oh, the lives He touched. Not just mine. But each time, I would go to someone, dying with AID’s, I knew, this was a memorial to my brother.

I finally understood how important, the touch, really is. First He had to deal with my own anger over my brother. I would cry out, “How could a life full of suffering and alienation, be cut short in this way? How can anything good come from this? He already had, cerebral palsy. Alienated by people for most of his short, life. Now this?” Members of my own family, voiced their fears, about him, coming into their home, after finding out. I had friends, who implied, they weren’t sure if he had infected my home. After all, he had visited me. Painful enough, for me, I knew for him, it was much more painful. I couldn’t understand what good could be borne of this.

Then, He showed me the purpose. As I was filled with compassion for those who were dying, I would go to them. I met people, who had been ‘cut-off,’ from family and friends. Fearful of catching this dreaded disease. It broke my heart to see people like this. The one thing they needed most, and they didn’t have it. Human touch.

Now I read the account of Jesus, and the leper.(Luke 5:12) He begs the Lord to heal him, if He is willing.” The Lord responds, “I am willing, and He reaches out and touches, the leper.” This was a disease which was highly contagious. People were forbidden to have contact with the lepers, for fear of spreading this dreaded disease.

We can see accounts of Christ healing, by merely speaking a word. Yet, He reminded me, that it was important to touch, those who have been so reviled. This is the miracle to them. It is not the physical healing. It is the fact that, we step outside of ourselves. Outside, of our fears and repulsion. Outside of our stereotypes and laws.

I went into the hospital once to visit and pray. The AID’s ward. I went from room to room. As I came upon one man, he grabbed my arm so tightly with tears in his eyes. I know my own eyes filled with tears as well. He so longed for someone, to love him. To show that they were not afraid to touch him.

The hospital would tell me, that I had to don a mask and gloves, as I visited these patients. But I could not. Unless I was sick, they were the ones, who were susceptible to opportunistic sickness. Not me.

The saddest thing I had seen was a man named, Denny. I had visited him, at a residence for people with AID’s. His parents had found out, that I would come and pray with him. His mother, said, she was so touched by our visits. Her husband, however, was much older, and he had cancer. He was afraid to come into Denny’s room. So he would put on a mask and visit him, through his screen window. The last day of Denny’s life, the father, watched him slowly ebb away, without so much as a hug goodbye, for fear of this disease. It was beyond heartbreaking.

This is what fear will do.  It keeps us away. Paralyzed. Ineffective. Hiding from those who need us most. It will  separate us from others, and from the Lords calling, to touch, people for Him. We become His hands. His feet.

How important is touch? I was reading an article about the importance of touch, and newborns. It was in a study, they found that newborns required, not only attention to their basic needs, but human touch. Without this, they would begin to waste away.   It is mentioned throughout scripture, again and again. I was reading all the scriptures this morning and was amazed, at how often it’s used, and how powerful the dynamic. Not only is it mentioned for healing, but the scriptures speak of touch, causing death. “Do not touch, any unclean thing, or you shall die.” (Lev. 5:2) Eve, must have seen the importance, as she altered Gods’ own words, to the serpent, when she claimed He told them, they couldn’t eat, or touch, the Tree. When God did not say that. He didn’t mention touch, so this lie began the downward spiral. The serpent knew, he already had her, since she had just lied.

So powerful is touch, that the woman who reached out, and grabbed the hem of Christs, garment, was healed. Yes, Christ told her it was her faith, which healed her, but her faith was evidenced, by her touch.

I felt it this morning, as I took my mother to the doctor. I was under a spell. The lies, which were binding me, to keep me from touching others. I know that it is by doing this, I am healed. As the woman, touched the Lord. It was this pouring out of myself after the loss of my brother, that kept me from totally falling apart. I saw my brother in each person, I gave my love to.

The Lord had sent me out into this world with a purpose and a compassion born of my suffering. He also reminded me of what my suffering is about. I share this cup with him so that I may be like Him and fit for His use. I have wasted too much time, falling prey to fear and sickness. I know that He has given me a chance to climb out of the valley. Up to the mountain. But He reaches down to touch me. To help me up. I’m to turn and help others too.

Then as fear engulfs me, He reminds me of the message He has given to the world and I am comforted by this.  “Touch not my anointed ones, and do my prophets no harm.” (1Chron.16:22)

So as I am walking out of my darkness, while He holds me close, I will try to remember, when the enemy comes, to “sift me as wheat,” I have only but to reach out and touch HIM!