Under Pressure


Ground Zero

I am always sad on this day, as most of us are. We experienced such terror at  the loss of so many great men and women.

But, the Lord reminds me that the glue, He has given us, is love. The love to bind us together. The suffering which makes us priceless. The compassion and empathy born of our heartache and tears.

He spoke to me the other day, as I drove to the airport. Exhausted and sad, at my visit to redeem my mother’s lost belongings.

He reminded me that this is what He has done for us. We were His lost belongings. He redeemed us with His own blood.

As I looked up, I saw a billboard. “Israel Diamonds,” I drove a few more miles and there it was again. Another billboard with the same thing. I understood the Lord’s message to me. He has told us that all who love Him are a part of His covenant. Israel.  The coal under great pressure, is transformed into a beautiful diamond. His little signposts along the highway of life.

I said a silent, “Thank you, Lord. For encouraging me, and reminding me of the final outcome.

This day, as I watch the memorials and remembered, I thought of all those amazingly beautiful diamonds, which have been formed from the ashes left behind. “He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear.”

What the enemy had meant for evil, the Lord transformed into a love and unity which is unshakable.

A Father’s Love


A father and his daughterThe innocence of youth

 

I have been thinking of my father. It happens every year at about this time. I know his birthday is coming, (September 30) and I become depressed.  I know it’s something I feel. A darkness shrouding me. I start getting depressed, and I beg the Lord to help me out. My father died in April of 88 and my brother died a year later. It was too much to bear. I started working for my company, a year after the death of my brother. The fall, which normally is my favorite time of the year, became something I dread. It is a symbol of death. The leaves on the trees, which are beautiful, as they are turning, are now a picture of gloom.

I was in a ‘holding pattern,’ for a long time, as a result of this. I went into a training center, which became another picture of depression. But yet, the Lord, allowed all of this. Perhaps it was to protect me, from myself. He knew, that I was suffering. Had it not been for my roommates, and the fact that I had just returned to the Lord, I would have withered away. I felt desperate and alone. I used my humor and the friendships, I had developed in training, to keep me grounded.

My father had asked me, “to give his love to my mother.” I believe I am doing this every day. But he didn’t realize how difficult all of this would be. To leave in such a manner, and to wrestle my mother, on every little bit of her loss of independence. She refuses the help she needs, and I’m growing weary from the constant complaints. She believes she can “take care of herself.” I know she can’t.

My father left, because he couldn’t handle the depths of despair, which he felt he lived with. Caused by his drinking, and his own company. I understand, the anger, he felt. I’ve experienced this myself. There’s no justice and no way to understand, without the Lord. Life isn’t fair. That’s just a truth, I’ve accepted. It is for those who can afford it.

Now, I debate, what to do for my mother. What is best for her? Do I try to give her what she so desires, or ignore her pleading, as many say, and keep her with me. I know it is just going to become more difficult. I long for my father’s advice. What did he mean, “Give my love to your mother?” What would he do?

I know my father was totally dysfunctional, as all of us are. Some of us just don’t admit it. I know my faults and loved him, in spite of his own. The Lord reminds me that, “although your father loves you, he is imperfect, but I am the perfect father.”

I will be 54, in October. The same age my father was when he died. Even my birthday, is a thing of sadness. So many times, as a child, waiting for my father to show up. Left me on a porch all alone. My mother, slapped me in the face, once, as I came in to the table and sat down, crying. I was exasperated that my father, failed to show up, once again. And she was angry, that I was crying for my father. I told her I still loved him. And she became angry. Her own feelings of contempt, taken out on me. She does the same thing to me now. But, just as my father was not in his right mind, I accept this with my mother, as well. Yet, it still hurts. I feel the darkness sweeping over me.The memory of me standing right in front of him, begging him to “hang on.”  Yet, my cries went unheeded.

Now, I feel a need to run to my heavenly Father. “Help me Lord. Help me to do what is right for everyone. I don’t want to live according to my will, my ways. I want to see on the other side of this, darkness. The light of His love, and His grace.

As, I wait on the Lord, I’m asking that He turns this time of the year into a thing of beauty for me. To remind me that, after the death of all the creation, comes resurrection! The spring brings new life! I want to stay focused on this, as I enter into this season. A new beginning.

Thank you Father, for sending your son, Jesus Christ, to remind us all…this is not the end.

The Obama-Nation of Desolation


The horror of Ground Zero

Well, things are certainly heating up in New York and around this country. The mosque being built near Ground Zero.

President Obama,remaining silent for weeks, claiming it was “a local issue.” Then he finally addresses this very serious issue, and concedes to the Muslim Americans. The following day, he flip-flopped, and stated that “he didn’t say, what he had said.”

Oh, how many times has he done this? He’s ignored some things which seem to be part of the national crises, yet now when he steps up to the plate that same foot goes into his mouth.

Take a stand on the issues, and don’t back down. Show your true colors. The campaign of “Change,” seems to have been referring to his mind. He changes  it from one day to the next.

Now, I’m of the belief that this is not appropriate to build this mosque in the same location of such tragedy.It incites anger and pain, especially for those who have lost friends and family and those who have to be reminded of this every day.

This is like a ‘finger in the eye,’ of, not only the residents of New York, but anyone that has a belief that this is a divisive act.

“After the sixty-two ‘seven’s, the Anointed One will be cut off and will have nothing. The people of the ruler will come, will destroy the city and the sanctuary. The end will come like a flood; War will continue until the end, and desolations have been decreed. He will confirm a covenant with many for one ‘seven.’ He will put an end to sacrifice and offering. And on a wing of the temple, he will set up an abomination that causes desolation, until the end, that is decreed is poured out on him.” Daniel 9:25-27

Well, what a desolation we had experienced with 9/11. Never before on American soil had we lived through such horror. There is an agenda in the Islamic, ‘core beliefs. It matters not, how nice a person is,but what drives a person, is their belief system.

The bigger question would be, “Who is funding this? And what is the real agenda?” If it was just a matter of needing a place of worship, it would be fair to say, these people, if their desire is peace, would be to concede. It should be a normal response to all the anger and hurt, which many have expressed. That is, if the real point is, just desiring a place of worship. However, it’s much deeper than this. These are the sons of Ishmael, and it is a spiritual battle. I have said this many times, and only those of understanding will see this. It is not a political issue, nor is it a moral issue. It is spiritual and it is the the battle which the Lord said, would endure until the end. It is a battle born of the ancient covenant between Isaac( Israel) and God.

Now Pelosi wants to “investigate those who are opposed to this mosque being built.” What???Hey, what happened to the rights of American citizens, who happened to be just a little bit concerned about our own freedoms? Isn’t this statement just trampling all over our freedom to question the motives of the Imam and his statements? And what about his affiliations?  I’ve got a better idea, Ms Pelosi. How about using taxpayers money and investigate this, and while you’re at it, perhaps find out where the source of the funds, for this project is coming from?

  Sadly, I see this kind of  bullying in many people who hold positions of authority.  I see this throughout our government. Those who are involved in blatant corruption, feel a sense of entitlement. Those who would try to take a righteous stand, are opposed, by the media and others in authority.  It is sad, yet expected. The Lord told us plainly that in the last days, people would “glory in their shame,” and “the truth would be exchanged for a lie.” I don’t have to see this in the news. I’m reading God’s Word. This is where I will find guidance and strength.

As the blind leaders, speak their nonsense, I will know what is happening and take a firm stand on His truth. Not some talking heads, who have designed their own path, which we know leads one direction. “There is a way that seems right to a man, and it leads to destruction.

Now I hear, the press bashing Prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, in his attempts to bring Blagojevich, to justice. The argument is, “all of the homicides in Chicago, and they are wasting this money going after Blagojevich. So, let me get this straight, the leaders, should not be held accountable? And no connection is made, to the ‘trickle down effect?” Man is greatly influenced by those in leadership. If the men who are in positions of authority have no integrity, what would you expect from the mainstream? And if these so called leaders, are not held accountable, it sends a message to everyone, that they are above the law. Thereby increasing the lack of trust in any government agencies. So government, becomes powerless.

As I was talking with a colleague today, we both agreed. The world is getting more corrupt, by the minute. It is not going to ‘get better.’ The Lord has spoken. “Desolations have been decreed.” If corruption is in the heart of man, by way of sin, it has only one end. This is why Christ came for us.

He told us that “the dark would become darker, as the light becomes brighter,” until the day of His return. I am not shaken at this. Because, “although I am in this world, I am not of this world.”

Just take a stand for Him, and you will always be on the right side. Remember the Lord tells us, “that He directs the path of a righteous man.