Yes, I Am Peculiar!


And the Lord has told me this. He took me in spite of all of my baggage. In fact, He accepted me because of my baggage. He told me I am beautiful and a peculiar treasure. I am blessed to be a part of His Body, and we are a chosen priesthood. (Exodus 19:5, 1Peter 2:9) 

A while back, I was told by someone that “Nobody cared” about me.  Though they were responsible for some of my suffering. It is the typical response for people who lack compassion. Their adage is, “The secret to success, is knowing who to blame.”

I felt the sting of that arrow, and I was not wearing my armor. The lie of the enemy had penetrated my heart. I was now isolated and withdrew from the Body. I was in deep despair, and I felt there was no one.

But something happened. In the midst of my anguish, the Lord reminded me, that I am not alone, and He cares. One day, as I was driving down the street near my home, I looked up; There it was. A billboard and the simple words, “I Care…God.” I knew He was giving me a message and I’m sure many others. So the man who had spoken those words to me was right. Nobody cared, but thank God, Somebody does! And He’s the only one who matters.

 He spoke tenderly to me and drew me back from all the pain that attempted to swallow me. He reminded me that if I am connected to His Body, that I will not suffer shame nor disgrace. (Isaiah 54: 4-8) He is my husband. 

I am so peculiar, that I have abandoned myself to Him and His ways. I believe what He tells me and I’ve experienced too much to put my trust in the world and it’s ways. I know everything He tells me is true. 

Yesterday, I felt fear come over me, as I was going to work. His voice softly speaking to me, “Have I ever let you down? Do you think I am not powerful enough to hold you up?” “No Lord, I have seen miraculous works in my life by the power of your hands, and I will not sin against you by entertaining doubt and unbelief.” I read a quote by Mother Theresa, and I laughed, as it spoke of my own experience. “I know He doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle,I just wish He didn’t trust me so much!” 

I had flown with a woman who was terrified to sit down and even in the turbulence, she came back to hold the hands of a flying partner. She shared  that she had been on a flight that had encountered severe turbulence, and she was terrified. This was the flight that I was supposed to work a few weeks ago. As we comforted her, I said a prayer, that the Lord would bring her peace. He had once again, reminded me, that He was watching over me, and I could reach out for Him at any time. 

My faith had grown in the desert experience. Of course faith cannot grow, except through suffering. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence, of things unseen. And we are told all that we need is a mustard seed. I carried mustard seeds around in a jar, to remind me of this, when I was feeling extremely fearful. I would look at the tiny seed, and say, “I know I have that much!” The Lord would tell me to step out, and He would do the rest. I’ve learned that faith isn’t going to grow, unless you exercise it. He has never let me down. 

So when you read my posts or hear me speak, and you have an inclination to believe, this woman is crazy. Just remember, I am very peculiar. But I am so blessed to be His peculiar treasure. And to be a part of the growing crowd. We are all pressing in, to Him. Just as the crowds pressed Him, everywhere He walked.

It is our calling to bring the Good News, to those who are in darkness. So they may become part of His Body too. “When men are brought low and you say, “Lift them up!” Then He will save the downcast. He will deliver even one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.” (Job 22:29) 

Look closely at His body and His beauty. How could you not want to be peculiar too?

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Will I Find Faith?


Are You Ready?me-eiffel1Yes, the Lord’s eyes roam the earth to and fro looking for people who have faith. This is what His word says, but what will He find? A form of dead ritual? A people that practice a form of religion? He doesn’t care about that. He never has. He didn’t create us to go to church and subscribe to a religion. Oh yea, Jesus died on the cross and said, “hey, Peter, go and form the Catholic religion and be a good pope and make everyone kiss your ring and bow down to you. And make a lot of wars and don’t forget to kill a lot of Jews along the way because they don’t agree with your practices. Oh, hey wait a minute…you and I are Jews aren’t we????” Hmm, forgot about that one didn’t we??? Oh, I guess a lot of people have forgotten about that and as we enter into the Passover season, they better take off that religious clothing they’re wearing and start reading what God has really said. “HEY! The bible is a HEBREW text and if you do what Jesus said to do you will “learn of him.” Oh, oh! This is quite a challenge, since even Mary herself stated that “I rejoice in giving birth to my savior.” OOPs! Did she says “savior? Meaning she needed someone to save her? Which then also means that she was not without sin. That’s right folks, no where in the bible does it say that anyone besides the savior, Jesus Christ, is without sin and to state that is blasphemy. We are not to worship anyone but him, since He is the sacrifice made for us. Mary was indeed, a woman favored among women. But no one was without sin and this was the reason that God had Jesus come to earth. Immanuel, (God dwells among us).

Now, because of this we must know that God desires to have relationship with his creation. Not a bunch of rituals that have replaced the sacrifice that Christ already made. That is negating what has been done and an abomination to Him. It is a slap in the face to God to think that we can just go on sinning and say a couple “Hail Mary’s and do it all over again. In fact, the Word of God tells us plainly that it is sacrificing Christ all over again when we continue to do this and at some point we are in danger of becoming reprobate. Meaning, God will just turn us over to our own ways, and there will be no more conscience left. As I spoke of before and it states in scripture, there are those whose conscience’s have been “seared with hot irons.” You’ve seen them. Some say they seem to have no soul. As many have said of Madoff. I disagree with that about any man. All men have a soul and can be brought back from the fires of hell. I am one that grieves for them. My calling is one of evangelism and I cry out for those that are “stumbling towards the slaughter.” I can look into their eyes and see their souls. God has given this gift to me and sometimes it hurts me. I have had this calling my whole life.

As a small girl, I remember drawing hundreds of pictures that I told my mother I wanted to take to the hospital for sick children. I was only about five years old, but remember instinctively, that I had a calling on my life. I remember my father, taking me to Sunday school and feeling the presence of God. So intimate and His touch in my life. All through my life He would protect me from the horrors that I was to experience. Death and separation was around me from a young age, yet I always knew that the Lord was holding me up and had called me to something and as I poured out compassion to other’s, He filled me with His own. Sending messengers of compassion to me. Angels of mercy to help me through my time of need.

When I started to really understand how to walk with Him and listen to Him, I realized that you must speak to others about His promises. This pleases God. He wants you to tell others so that He can “watch over His word to perform it.” Of course you will appear crazy. I started to enjoy this aspect of it as well, because to the nonspiritual you will always appear crazy, but then this is exactly what will bring them to faith in the end.

When I started to understand prayer and how to stand on His promises, I just started working for my company in 1990. I was also based in San Francisco and commuting to Miami. I had a small daughter and had quite a few roommates. It was difficult, yet I tried not to complain. I had been getting very involved in my bible teachings and my roommates wanted to hear about them. They were fascinated. I was amused that I was actually drawing a crowd as I shared with my roommates. They would even have some of their friends come from other apartments to listen to my teachings. I was in prayer one morning when the Lord actually spoke something to me that I wondered about. “If you continue to serve me, I will open a base for you in Miami.” What is that supposed to mean, I wondered? Then I thought, is that me? Well, it couldn’t be, because I wasn’t thinking about it and I wrote it down in my journal.

I came home and told my husband about this and he had a prayer group with some men and they said they were going to keep this in prayer. I came back and I had found a church to go to in San Jose, called Jubilee Christian Center. One evening, all of my friends told me that they wanted to go to this church with me. Well, I thought that was a miracle in itself. What in the world would all of these wild and crazy girls, want to go to church for? I laughed. “Are you sure? It’s quite a drive.” Yes! They were all excited, as if they were going to a concert. Well, we all piled in a couple cars and went.

This church was like the wildest church ever and the music was incredible. They were almost doing backflips down the aisle, they were so excited! lol My friends were totally digging it and when they had an altar call my eyes were closed, but all I felt was a “swish, swish, swhish, and I looked up and all these girls were in the front of the church. Well, me knowing what heathens they were, I thought, “that’s not gonna stick!” lol Yea, the Lord had to deal with me later about that. But when we got back they were all so excited that I couldn’t contain them. Something miraculous had happened and it was spiritual. I wasn’t in control and the Lord reminded me that I was just the vessel. It was the promise starting to unfold.

Now these girls started getting ‘plugged in’ to this church as I continued my commute. I was amazed. One started going on mission trips to Russia. Another met a man in the singles group and ended up marrying him.

Well, me being bold and crazy, told my supervisor one day. I said, “Hey, Gayle you know we’re going to have a base in Miami.” She started cracking up. Which of course made me even bolder still. “Now what makes you say something like that?” Well,” I said, I was praying and the Lord told me that He’s going to open a base in Miami.” Of course she stared at me with the, this poor girl has just lost it, eyes, and said, “listen, if anything we will open a base in Orlando, because we have maintenance facilities there, but not in Miami.” “Hmmm, I said, I don’t think so. He said, Miami.” I told her, you know, Pan Am is in the same shape that Eastern was in. I think they’ll declare bankruptcy and  our company will probably purchase the  South American routes from Pan Am and open the base in Miami.  Then I  left. I can’t say that the Lord told me exactly how He was going to do this but the words came out of my mouth because I could see this happening.

Gayle was so sweet, but she had no faith at that time. I can’t say that now and it was the reason for our encounter, that I know. Everything would take place in it’s time for her benefit. This is how important a person’s soul is to the Lord.

A month later I transferred to New York. There I met my friend from training. Her and I shared the same name. We had the same initials. They hated it in training because we sat together all the time and it was so confusing to them. We buddy bid together and flew together all the time. I saw her transformation take place as well. She told me one day she wanted to commit her life to Christ. I made her understand that Gods promises would be opened up to her when she let go of those things she was holding on to so tightly that were not from HIm. She ended up moving out of the apartment she shared with a man she didn’t love and it wasn’t until she did this that she met an incredible man of God. They adopted some children from Russia.

Now, there was a press release that Delta had purchased the routes from Pan Am and I was very disappointed. I felt my flesh creeping in and I cannot lie. I was upset with God. “What is happening? You promised me.” I felt very whiny and sad. Like I was having a temper tantrum. Yes, as children of God, we do that a lot. We think we know the plan and we don’t. But God wants to see that we have faith in His promises all the time, not just some of the time. So, after I got over it, I continued to do what He wanted me to do and trust in Him.

My next trip through San Francisco, I went into my supervisor, Gayle’s office and left a note on her desk. It read, “this isn’t a done deal yet! We are still going to get those routes and we’re still going to open a base in Miami!”

Then I bumped into a girl in Denver on that same trip. She was reading a book called, “This Present Darkness.” I would recommend that book along with it’s companion book for anyone that wants to understand spiritual warfare and how real it is. I looked at her and asked her if she was a true believer. “Yes!” We started to talk and I told her about my promise and how I was telling my supervisor about this and all of my friends in San Francisco that had become believers and everything that was happening. I told her to mark my words from that day, “The Lord is going to open a base in Miami.”

I returned to my base and on my very next trip an announcement was made that Delta “pulled out of the deal with Pan Am and our company came in and announced that they were buying the South American routes below bid price. There was an announcement being made that same day that we were going to open a base in Miami.

This girl that I had only met once in Denver, I had given my phone number to and she had called my husband because she was so excited. I wasn’t home but she said, “I had to call because I met your wife in Denver and she said this was going to happen and I was talking to her about the Lord and her faith!”

Well, his faith grew too and so did all of his prayer partners since they had been praying for almost a year since I told them about this word. But the greatest thing of all was this; When I had been in San Francisco I was in this rotunda above the terminal where all the flight attendants hang out. All of a sudden I hear a scream and look up and who do I see but Gayle! She is running to me laughing and crying at the same time! She said Carrie, you said it would happen and it did! How in the world did you know??? I told her,” don’t you think God speaks the truth when He gives a promise? All you need is the faith of a mustard seed. I have way more than that!

Then Gayle asked me if I would come into her office. She shared with me that her father was very ill and asked me if I would pray for him. This was the most touching of all. A base in Miami is nothing at all compared to the souls of people as I stated. That is something for someone else and it is eternal. A base in Miami, is a selfish need and as I found out was temporary. It was a season to accomplish a purpose.

Now the lesson in faith is this. “What God speaks to you in secret, He wants you to shout from the rooftops. “For without faith it is impossible to please God. (Hebrews 11:6) Who cares if you appear silly to men? Don’t men appear silly anyway? Look at all of them right now, trying to fix the budget and the crisis that they have created themselves, all because not one of them have asked for the creator’s help in  this. That is what is silly.With what’s happening in this world right now…we can’t afford NOT to be silly!!!