There’s Only One ‘Soul Love!’


I woke from a dream this morning. It was a dream about my ‘soul love.’ I was so touched by the emotions which I experienced. I have just started to understand so much more about this one, true love.

In my dream the one who had stolen my heart, was coming with his family to my home. I was very nervous, and yet very excited. He was from a different world, than my own. He and his family, were very refined. Of great wealth and status. Yet, I knew, in spite of this, we had something powerful between us. It was like a fairytale. Our first meeting, left me trying to analyze everything about him. Why did he have such a hold on me, which no one else, had ever had? What is it about this man that makes him different? Since the first time, his eyes, met mine, I felt almost disturbed. It was a longing which I just couldn’t explain I secretly prayed that it would, go away

I realized this was not the  normal infatuation. It was something much different. Perhaps today, I thought, I will find he was just a figment of my imagination. A long-lost desire to make the young girls fairytale a reality. But now, I will finally be able to put this to rest.

When they entered my home, I felt rather stressed. Much like royalty, coming to visit. I wondered what kind of impression they might have. I had nothing to impress.

But then, they were so kind and I could see why, this man, seemed untouched by his position. A softness in his heart which was obvious to anyone. His family was like him. Not pretentious in any way. They didn’t seem to take notice of anything material. It wasn’t what I lacked, which they noticed. It was who I was, as a person. They wanted to know this woman, who had seemed to hypnotize this man.

As I felt immediately at ease with all of them, I thought, these people could be anyone. They were so genuine. So kind.

My eyes searched for him. As my gaze moved past the family circle, there he was. Standing in the background. Very quiet. I thought, it has seemed like an eternity, that I’ve waited for this moment. It almost seemed against the odds, that we would ever be reunited. Now, here he was, in my kitchen.

As I looked at him my heart was discerning his character. Amazed at the fact that he was so successful and seemed to have a global presence, yet here he was, hiding in the back of everyone. Almost as if he was shy in my presence. This intrigued me. Could it be that this man, whom I had fallen for, intimidated by me?

Now, I wanted to reveal my heart to him. Yet, I was afraid as well. How could he believe, I wasn’t just as afraid? These are unchartered waters for me. After so much heartbreak, I’m terrified by my own feelings.

Then I looked at his outward appearance. He had aged since our last meeting, but it didn’t matter. So have I. He was as attractive to me as the first day we had met.  I realized that the outward man, was just the flesh, and I had fallen in love with his heart. I looked at him again, and was amazed at my attraction for him. How could I convince him, that ‘he’s the one?’That he alone, held this place.

I thought, this man has had so many experiences, and met so many people, yet, he has no understanding of the power he has over me. I just wanted to prove to him that this feeling of insecurity he had, was something which goes both ways. This thing we have, goes beyond the natural appearance, and this is what makes it so special.

Later, as he was walking down a flight of stairs, he fell down. All the way to the bottom. I screamed and ran to him. He had really injured himself. I held him as I tried to hold his head. I couldn’t bear the thought of his physical pain. It was as if I felt it too.  I held him tightly, caressing his face, as I  thought, I don’t care what happens, I want to care for this man. I love him beyond everything.

I woke from my dream. I was thinking about all of this and then I remembered my trip to Israel, last year. On the flight, I sat next to a very kind man. He told me about the movies, which were playing. I really didn’t think I would watch anything. I was so tired. But he almost insisted. It was almost as if to say, “I want you to watch this. There is a message for you.”

I believe that God sends people to us to speak all the time. We must have spiritual ears to hear. The movie, which he told me to watch was, The King’s Speech.

I was so moved by this movie.  The King, was so shy. With such a tender heart. Such a sweet spirit. Kind and compassionate. This is the most endearing quality. It was amazing that his humility was so obvious that he had an aversion to the limelight. He was literally, tongue-tied, when he had to speak.

I wondered at this. The man in my dream seemed to be very much like, ‘the king’ It is the most endearing attribute. This is what made me connect with him. Something which can be described, but never explained.

As I read a quote from a friend this morning, it was one more reminder that, “someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.” That sure seems to say it all.

I’m a firm believer that God has someone specifically designed for a person. And we can either try to make something work, or allow Him to be the ultimate matchmaker. Just as He created Eve for Adam. No one knows our heart, more than the one who created it.

So this dream, seemed a reminder, and an encouragement to me.

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Yes, I Am Peculiar!


And the Lord has told me this. He took me in spite of all of my baggage. In fact, He accepted me because of my baggage. He told me I am beautiful and a peculiar treasure. I am blessed to be a part of His Body, and we are a chosen priesthood. (Exodus 19:5, 1Peter 2:9) 

A while back, I was told by someone that “Nobody cared” about me.  Though they were responsible for some of my suffering. It is the typical response for people who lack compassion. Their adage is, “The secret to success, is knowing who to blame.”

I felt the sting of that arrow, and I was not wearing my armor. The lie of the enemy had penetrated my heart. I was now isolated and withdrew from the Body. I was in deep despair, and I felt there was no one.

But something happened. In the midst of my anguish, the Lord reminded me, that I am not alone, and He cares. One day, as I was driving down the street near my home, I looked up; There it was. A billboard and the simple words, “I Care…God.” I knew He was giving me a message and I’m sure many others. So the man who had spoken those words to me was right. Nobody cared, but thank God, Somebody does! And He’s the only one who matters.

 He spoke tenderly to me and drew me back from all the pain that attempted to swallow me. He reminded me that if I am connected to His Body, that I will not suffer shame nor disgrace. (Isaiah 54: 4-8) He is my husband. 

I am so peculiar, that I have abandoned myself to Him and His ways. I believe what He tells me and I’ve experienced too much to put my trust in the world and it’s ways. I know everything He tells me is true. 

Yesterday, I felt fear come over me, as I was going to work. His voice softly speaking to me, “Have I ever let you down? Do you think I am not powerful enough to hold you up?” “No Lord, I have seen miraculous works in my life by the power of your hands, and I will not sin against you by entertaining doubt and unbelief.” I read a quote by Mother Theresa, and I laughed, as it spoke of my own experience. “I know He doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle,I just wish He didn’t trust me so much!” 

I had flown with a woman who was terrified to sit down and even in the turbulence, she came back to hold the hands of a flying partner. She shared  that she had been on a flight that had encountered severe turbulence, and she was terrified. This was the flight that I was supposed to work a few weeks ago. As we comforted her, I said a prayer, that the Lord would bring her peace. He had once again, reminded me, that He was watching over me, and I could reach out for Him at any time. 

My faith had grown in the desert experience. Of course faith cannot grow, except through suffering. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence, of things unseen. And we are told all that we need is a mustard seed. I carried mustard seeds around in a jar, to remind me of this, when I was feeling extremely fearful. I would look at the tiny seed, and say, “I know I have that much!” The Lord would tell me to step out, and He would do the rest. I’ve learned that faith isn’t going to grow, unless you exercise it. He has never let me down. 

So when you read my posts or hear me speak, and you have an inclination to believe, this woman is crazy. Just remember, I am very peculiar. But I am so blessed to be His peculiar treasure. And to be a part of the growing crowd. We are all pressing in, to Him. Just as the crowds pressed Him, everywhere He walked.

It is our calling to bring the Good News, to those who are in darkness. So they may become part of His Body too. “When men are brought low and you say, “Lift them up!” Then He will save the downcast. He will deliver even one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.” (Job 22:29) 

Look closely at His body and His beauty. How could you not want to be peculiar too?