Pap Smears and Pedicures

I had been discussing the issue of insurance and commiserating with a fellow flight attendant. I was upset with the fact that my time is being wasted when I am at home, with doctors’ appointments, etc.

Why should I continue to waste all of  this time on layovers, in hotels, when I could accomplish these mundane tasks?  I work a trip and arrive at home to a million different errands. Can’t we consolidate this somehow? I began to think of ways to multi-task.

“For instance,” I said, “why not have my pap smears at my hotel? If we could get a doctor to do house calls and bring the equipment, it would be perfect! Hey, since my feet are in the stirrups,  I could even get my pedicure at the same time! Just think of all the time I would save!”

My flying partner totally agreed. “Yea!” He said, we should all be able to have our prostate exams and everything on our layovers. I said, “well, just imagine, relaxing with a glass of wine, while someone is doing a facial and an annual exam, at the same time.” All the leisure time you would have when you get home!”

 The next morning we met downstairs and I said “Hey, I had my mammogram last night.” He replied, “Yea, I had a colonoscopy!”

I do believe this should be one for Obama’s new health care reform. We could save time, and they could save money. I’m thinking I could probably have my hair done, while the mammogram is being performed. And I could even throw a manicure into that. Perhaps a little discount for added incentive. Put our tax dollars to work for us!  This is my own ‘energy conservation program.’ No more running as if I’m in a triathlon, when I come home for my few days off.Not to mention we would also be more environmentally conscious, as we would be conserving much more fuel.

The hotels should just have these medical people on staff and we could make our appointments as we check in. Perhaps the insurance companies could work out a special package with the salons and offer it to the consumer.

While I’m getting my teeth cleaned, I think I’ll have my legs waxed. I think anything that I could do in a salon, basically, can be added to the exam routine. Waxing, hair, nails, facial’s,etc. Why not?

As I was explaining my wildly ingenious idea, to my mom and daughter, this is the song which came to me and my mom was rolling in laughter as I was singing it. I’m sure many lyrics could be added. “Pap smears and pedicures, on company time, Insurance coverage, I don’t spend a dime!” (To the tune of Incense and Peppermints)

Yep, that’s a perfect tune, waiting for the lyrics.A one-stop shop, on our layover time, and it would all be a perfect package. Now  I say we vote on this as part of the plan. All who travel as part of their jobs, please weigh in… All in favor, say Yes!!!