Happy Mother’s and Son Day!


Grandma and her grandchildren

Grandma and her grandchildren

I had to share this story once again. It makes me laugh every time I think of it and I know the Lord has certainly used this to reveal things to me.

A few years back, when my son was about 8 years old, we went somewhere for Mother’s Day. I had asked him to do me a favor and his response was a simple, “No.” I was shocked as I pointed out, “Hey, it’s Mother’s Day!” Thinking I would get some kind of a guilt response, but it didn’t happen that way. My son, without missing a beat, said, “It’s also Son day!”

Wow, was this quick on the draw or what? I wondered at how long he had spent thinking about this. So witty, yet his ability to rob all attention away for himself, was uncanny. I had to laugh and I also remembered something from scripture.

Today, I shared this with others at church. It seems so appropriate, as my son was sitting a few rows back and he hates having the spotlight on him in a group situation. I know, it’s odd, given the fact that he appears to be rather narcissistic.

But, I spoke about the fact that this little nugget was something that had always touched me in scripture. In the last moments of our Lords life on this earth. There He was, hanging on a cross. As His mother looked at His poor battered and bruised body. I can’t bear the thought, as I think of my own son and just the little bumps and bruises, he’s suffered in his life. I always hurt to see my own children hurting. Whether it is an emotional or physical hurt. Most mother’s cannot help but feel the pain.

In John 19:26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son.” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, the disciple took her into his home.”

I pointed out that, John,” the one whom Jesus loved,” really means favored. As it is believed that John was only about 14, when he began to follow Jesus. A young boy of great faith, and this is something which our Lord always marveled at. People with faith. This was the difference between him and the other disciples. At times they questioned, and their faith wavered. But John was totally devoted.

Now, when I look out at my son and see him sitting there, I’m thinking of this young man and how Jesus must have felt. A special place in His heart for this love and trust, which John had placed in Him. Why wouldn’t the Lord trust him to take His mother in and care for her, all the rest of her days?

Then, I think about the words and how odd they seem to be at point in time. It is almost strange until you observe closely. It seems to be interjected in His dying process, as if He was saying something mundane, like, “Oh hey, don’t forget the potluck dinner next week. Wish I could come, but hey, John would you mind taking my mom?”

We know from reading God’s Word, that nothing is unintentional and it all has great significance to us. As I sat thinking about this, I realized that our Lord wanted us to see how we are related to one another. The true family of God. It is not birthed by human flesh. It is the spiritual birth which our Lord spoke about when Nicodemus had come to Him. Being born again, of His Spirit, is when we are transferred from the family of flesh, to the spiritual family.

He revealed that this can only happen, when we are standing at the foot of the cross in total surrender and accepting the sacrifice of His blood. Having done this, makes all of us family. We care for one another all the days of our lives. We pray for each other and love and support one another in all things. This we do, because we belong to Him.

So in the end, my son was right. Not only is it, Mother’s Day….it is also Son Day! Thank you Lord for making us family!

My Father, Who Is In Heaven


He came for the sick

He came for the sick

When I pray this, I am addressing my heavenly father and my earthly father. It has become so personal to me and I have a picture of my father whenever I come before my heavenly father.

The longing in my heart is to see him again and to bring honor to him. I see all the little details of my life, woven together to form the fabric of my story. The purpose of my life. Defined by God, before my birth. It has taken me a while to see the calling and the plan. But I know that all of this pain is bringing me to the final conclusion. His promises are, “that all these things will work together for my good.”

I know that when we surrender our lives to Christ, we have been ransomed from the grave. I was bought with His blood. My life no longer belongs to me. But He is at work in me and through me.

I don’t represent myself on this earth, but Him. So though “I am in this world, I am not of this world”. I cannot be purchased by the material, since I’ve already been purchased by something which is more valuable than anything in this world. His blood.

Because of this, I don’t desire to have recognition or wealth. My desire is to fulfill His will for my life. This means to honor my father, even in his grave. Yes, I’ve screwed up many times. I’ve had my heart breaks and tantrums. I’ve screamed at my heavenly Father, “take this away! I don’t want it!” I’ve told Him, like the Israelites, “I was better off in Egypt.” The pain of these experiences have left me feeling abandoned and rejected. So much sorrow, that I can relate to His experience on the cross. I understand that cry of anguish, “Daddy, where are you? Why have you left me?” Sure, maybe Christ didn’t use this vernacular, but the meaning was the same.

My dad was a man who had faithfully served his country and his company. In the end of his tormented life, he was robbed by both. The only joy he had left was his job and his family. Now it had abruptly come to an end, by his own hand.

I certainly couldn’t find any good which could come from this. But then again, when most people looked to the cross and our Lord’s crucifixion, I’m sure they thought the same. I’m sure that at the time, His disciples looked to His death as the end. That Satan’s plan had succeeded. But the end is only for those who have no hope.

This was really the beginning. Our Lord told us that this is His very name. “The Alpha and Omega-The Beginning and the End.” Yes, now I am starting to understand how profound this message really is to mankind.

First, I had to go through these trials to comprehend the depth of His love for all of us. I had to let go of fear and pain and learn to trust My Father. He reminded me that, Christ did not come into this world to condemn us, but that through Him, we might be saved.”

Saved from what? Well, if I rounded up everyone who had brought harm to my earthly father and brought about this suffering, there wouldn’t be a prison big enough to contain them. As the heart of man is full of corruption, what purpose does prison serve? Besides being a drain on taxpayers, it only makes criminals worse.

No, our Lord told us that, “we are anointed to set the captives free.” But this is not by the laws of man. The law does not make one free. As Paul so eloquently stated in scripture, “Until the law was given, I had no desire to sin.”

As I pursued lawyer after lawyer. One law enforcement official after another, to bring justice, I realize that man cannot offer the justice I seek. “One man cannot give his life for another.” This is not going to bring honor to my father or peace to him. Because we are in a corrupt world, our whole system is designed to reward criminals and punish the innocent. It is contrary to our God.

Our Lords plan is always redemptive. His life for ours. He told us, “that the punishment that was meant to bring us peace, was upon Him.”  This is not restoration, or reformation. These things are temporary and without power. But it is regeneration, which only comes by the power of the Holy Spirit of God. The same breath that our Lord breathed into Adam. This is only accessed through our true repentance and the acknowledgement of His sacrifice.

So I pray to my heavenly father, “That His will be done, on this earth as it is in heaven.” As I do this I believe I am bringing honor to my earthly father, and in due time, my Lord will bring forth a harvest.

So, with this in mind, I step out in faith. I allow Him to direct me in the plan. I pray that “He would open doors which no man can shut, and close doors that no man can open.” All with the complete faith that He is drawing the final harvest to a close. I am part of His plan and I am blessed to be His  partner. In the end, whatever it takes, I pray I that I make both of my father’s proud.

The Year of the Lord’s Favor


So what if this was it? The year where all debts were cancelled? A clean slate? Well, we are to preach the message as if it is the last hour. He has poured His Spirit out with this command.

It is His gift to mankind. In 2 Timothy4:2, we are told to, “Proclaim the message, in season and out. Point out errors, warn people, and encourage them. Be very patient when you teach them.”

As I said in my last post, some do not accept teaching. But I wanted to point out, not from a place of pride, teaching is only from the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. And it is with the genuine love for people and the concern for their soul, not for selfish ambition.

When I see people, striving to sell something as it relates to ministry, or self-promotion, I can only be a little bit suspicious. The enemy loves to get a foothold in this part of our soul. We are all very susceptible to this sin. I can see how many times he tripped me up with this. I almost smelled the smoke of my own burning flesh.

The other day I was thinking back to my rebellious youth. I had come into a department store and had started working with a girl who was very sweet and pretty naive. Another girl was a bit older than us and she was more worldly. She was a hard rocker, with a boyfriend in a rock band. So, I kind of fit right in the middle. She told us all about her escapades, as she went on the road with him and his band. Helen, shocked by all her stories, and me, just laughing at everything, as if I knew it all. I thought I was so cool. I saw Helen doing things she wouldn’t normally do, like smoke cigarettes.  Helen and I would go out after work to the place across the street. This is when I realized what it was to influence a persons behavior. Never thinking about the negative aspect. I just thought it was humorous.  I found this out at my performance interview.

My manager sat me down, and spoke. “Listen. You have tremendous leadership potential. You just need to channel this in the right direction.” There was another guy in a department who I would talk to when I would walk through the store. “You need to slow down.” He would tell me. “Hmm, whatever, that’s supposed to mean.” I thought. The guy was about in his 30’s and I thought he was older than dirt.

I was about 18, and I thought I had the world by the tail, and no one could tell me what to do. I sure had no idea what they were talking about. And no one could teach me anything about anything. Isn’t it funny how I can still remember their words now?

The Lord tells us, that the Holy Spirit calls all things into remembrance. He is our, “Paraklete,” or Counselor. So He had actually placed so many in my life all along my path, to guide me, to warn me, to encourage me. As my stubborn feet, kicked, and dug in. As I shook my own fist and questioned. He knew, I would one day bow my knee in repentance. But how much suffering came first. Yea, I had fun, but at what cost? Believe me, there’s a lot of very small print at the bottom of that bill of goods. There’s nothing in the end. With the Lord, there’s a much better deal. I’ll take the clean slate…Thank you! His blood, for my sins??? Why hesitate? Oh, and did I mention? It’s a FREE gift!

Now the Lord said to Peter that, “Satan had requested to sift him as wheat.” But he reminded him that He would pray his faith remain strong, and when he was finished, he turn and encourage his brothers.”

So we are all allowed the same opportunities. Our Heavenly Father, does not play favorites. And there is no sin too great to be forgiven. However, there is only one way up, and that is by bowing down. Repentance.

“Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess, that Jesus Christ is Lord!

A Father’s Love


A father and his daughterThe innocence of youth

 

I have been thinking of my father. It happens every year at about this time. I know his birthday is coming, (September 30) and I become depressed.  I know it’s something I feel. A darkness shrouding me. I start getting depressed, and I beg the Lord to help me out. My father died in April of 88 and my brother died a year later. It was too much to bear. I started working for my company, a year after the death of my brother. The fall, which normally is my favorite time of the year, became something I dread. It is a symbol of death. The leaves on the trees, which are beautiful, as they are turning, are now a picture of gloom.

I was in a ‘holding pattern,’ for a long time, as a result of this. I went into a training center, which became another picture of depression. But yet, the Lord, allowed all of this. Perhaps it was to protect me, from myself. He knew, that I was suffering. Had it not been for my roommates, and the fact that I had just returned to the Lord, I would have withered away. I felt desperate and alone. I used my humor and the friendships, I had developed in training, to keep me grounded.

My father had asked me, “to give his love to my mother.” I believe I am doing this every day. But he didn’t realize how difficult all of this would be. To leave in such a manner, and to wrestle my mother, on every little bit of her loss of independence. She refuses the help she needs, and I’m growing weary from the constant complaints. She believes she can “take care of herself.” I know she can’t.

My father left, because he couldn’t handle the depths of despair, which he felt he lived with. Caused by his drinking, and his own company. I understand, the anger, he felt. I’ve experienced this myself. There’s no justice and no way to understand, without the Lord. Life isn’t fair. That’s just a truth, I’ve accepted. It is for those who can afford it.

Now, I debate, what to do for my mother. What is best for her? Do I try to give her what she so desires, or ignore her pleading, as many say, and keep her with me. I know it is just going to become more difficult. I long for my father’s advice. What did he mean, “Give my love to your mother?” What would he do?

I know my father was totally dysfunctional, as all of us are. Some of us just don’t admit it. I know my faults and loved him, in spite of his own. The Lord reminds me that, “although your father loves you, he is imperfect, but I am the perfect father.”

I will be 54, in October. The same age my father was when he died. Even my birthday, is a thing of sadness. So many times, as a child, waiting for my father to show up. Left me on a porch all alone. My mother, slapped me in the face, once, as I came in to the table and sat down, crying. I was exasperated that my father, failed to show up, once again. And she was angry, that I was crying for my father. I told her I still loved him. And she became angry. Her own feelings of contempt, taken out on me. She does the same thing to me now. But, just as my father was not in his right mind, I accept this with my mother, as well. Yet, it still hurts. I feel the darkness sweeping over me.The memory of me standing right in front of him, begging him to “hang on.”  Yet, my cries went unheeded.

Now, I feel a need to run to my heavenly Father. “Help me Lord. Help me to do what is right for everyone. I don’t want to live according to my will, my ways. I want to see on the other side of this, darkness. The light of His love, and His grace.

As, I wait on the Lord, I’m asking that He turns this time of the year into a thing of beauty for me. To remind me that, after the death of all the creation, comes resurrection! The spring brings new life! I want to stay focused on this, as I enter into this season. A new beginning.

Thank you Father, for sending your son, Jesus Christ, to remind us all…this is not the end.

Strange Visitations


What is going on? A UFO hovering over the Dome of the Rock? Oh wouldn’t everyone love to believe this is a hoax? Yes, and for decades, they were all hoaxes. And the ancient landing strips are also hoaxes. And the bible has spoken of the Nephilim, and Enoch and Elijah, were taken up in a whirlwind. And it was all a hoax. They were the only two, who did not see death. They will return in the end to be the witnesses to a callous world.

The “whirlwind,” by all accounts, would have been very similar to our present day description of a spacecraft. But then, this is just a hoax. People try to discount what they cannot understand, and what they are unwilling to believe. Aliens, are not aliens. But if we accept what the Lord has told us, then we must also accept the rest of His word.

Consider this portion of scripture; “One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.” (Job 1:6)

We can see many examples in scripture of the free access allowed the fallen angels in the heavenly and earthly realm. There will come a time of the end, but this is when the total plan is complete. What we are witnessing is the increase of visitation, because of these events.

Remember the Lord had spoken of the signs and wonders, “in the heavens above and the earth below.” However, we have no idea, whom, or what this is about, until the Lord decides to reveal His almighty hand. And it really doesn’t matter to those of us with faith.

When Jesus Christ returns, He tells us His coming will be visible to all as far lightning in the East can be seen in the West. (Matthew 24:27) So do not be surprised by the things you see happening. The spiritual world is not invading. It has always existed and always shall exist. It is the material world which is slowly eroding.

Satan’s domain is being challenged, and he will be deposed. “He has bruised my Lord, but his head has been crushed!” He knows his time is short and his job is to recruit as many as God’s creation as he can to take with him to his final destruction. 

There have been many debates over the set of scriptures about the Nephilim. “When men began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.” (Genesis 6:1-3) “The Nephilim were on the earth in those days-and also afterward-when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them.” (v4)

I tend to believe that they were the fallen angels and daughters of men. But it is expressly noted that it was a demonic attempt to thwart God’s plan to bring redemption by the pure seed of Jesus Christ through the birth through the human race. However, Noah was found to be the righteous man, saved through water, a picture of baptism. And a whole lot of other symbolism

At any rate, we know that the plan of Satan’s to outwit his own creator, would have no way of working,, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. And it certainly wouldn’t keep him from his destruction and hatred. And it should be easy enough to spot who his followers are. Jesus spoke these words to the ones who claimed to be the very teachers of the law, “If you were Abraham’s children, then you would do the things that Abraham did. As it is, you are determined to kill me, a man who has told the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. You are doing the things your own father does.” (John 8:39-41) “Why is my language not clear to you?Because you are unable to hear what I say, You belong to your father the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell you the truth you do not believe me! (John 8:43-45)

The Lord has told us that they have gone out into this world. We know they are here. We are told to test the spirits. We know that not ever one of them comes from God. So, be vigilant. Even more so as the day of our Lord draws near!

Don’t be shaken by the strange encounters of the third, fourth or fifth kind. We are to Look up! Our redemption is near!!!!!

“I Make All Things New!” Jesus Christ


 
I received news of my aunts passing, early this morning. It was mixed emotions which I had. She had created turmoil in our lives, yet the Lord does use all of these experiences to “work together for good.”
As a child who had experienced, much pain and separation, at such a young age, this particular aunt was the one, whom I held the biggest grudge. That is, until I became a believer, and the Lord healed my heart.
Yes, I was a small child, when I was thrust into an adult world. She was the last stop before the final ‘stripping away,’ of everything and everyone, I held close.
She would scream and yell at me, when I lived with her for a very brief time. I became the scapegoat for everything which was wrong in her life. I had just lost my young brother, and even though, it was quite traumatic for me, somehow I could take the blame for this as well,
I didn’t clean the house enough, I didn’t love my father enough, I didn’t help my mother enough. I had supernatural powers, which every child believes, when they suffer this kind of loss. We take all the weight of the world and bear it for the adults.
Of course, I had no idea, that this aunt had some problems. I internalized everything she said to me.
When decision was made, not to care for us, but to place us in a Children’s Home, I believed that was my fault as well.
Surely, there must be a reason, for all of this.
I shared the quarters with children, who had been physically abused. Some still wet the bed in their teens. Other’s just abandoned. How would I know that I didn’t deserve this special punishment?
My mother, was ill, and she was furious to find out that her own children, seemed to be ‘tossed out,’ like yesterdays garbage.
Yet, her sisters had no idea, what to do, and they didn’t understand the tenacity, which my mother had. This event made her more determined than ever, to recover.
 
Now, as I said, I did not process things as an adult would, so I had no idea, that this aunt had serious issues as well. All I knew, was that I was angry. All the terrible things she spoke to me, and the cruelty of her behavior, only exacerbated my anger, when I was in this home.
But the Lord “is close to those who are brokenhearted, and those who are crushed in spirit.”
Yes, it is true. I had a nurse who I remember, to this day. Rocking me in a chair as I wept, and consoling me with the words, “Your mother will return for you.”
I also remember having a Sunday School, which we went to on the grounds. I was given my very first bible at this school.  I still have it, and have read the words written on the cover many times. “Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey, Robert, the Sunday School teacher.”
Yes, we don’t always understand the impact we are having on a young child’s life, when we say and do these things.
But God knew, that one day, He would heal my deepest hurts in a most miraculous way.
 
I became a believer, and I started to see the things which I harbored in my heart, were a stumbling block, to the transformation which the Lord was going to bring about.
I started to pray for certain people, who I knew were assigned to me in a special way. Those who had brought the deepest wounds to my soul, would be at the very top of the list. The Lord reminded me, that I may be the only one praying for these souls, and if not, then the power of combined prayer, would be even more dynamic.
As I prayed, I was reminded that it really wasn’t about, ‘how I felt.’ This enabled me to lift them up to my Father, and release the anger, I had felt.
I knew when I took a step in faith, and this being the act of my will, the emotions would follow. As I could see a changed heart, I would perceive this person differently.
Well, with this aunt of mine, the Lord brought the visual picture full circle.
She had been such a painful part of my past, when my mother had her breakdown. After losing everyone close to me, the last person in my life, who was part of the decision to place my siblings, and I, in the home, was this aunt.
How many years, did I harbor this anger and hurt? I can say, for half of my life.
Then one day, after becoming a believer, it happened. This aunt called me.
Full of fear and extremely depressed, she had come down to my area of the country. She had lost her husband, spent a lot of money, while running, and systematically, ‘cut off,’ the communication with her own siblings and children.
Now she was calling me to come and help her. She had a breakdown and she was in a residence near me.
The thought first came, “Serves her right. The exact same thing has happened to her, and now she also lost her own children, by her own hands.”
How incredible was this, I thought.
Then the voice of someone close to me spoke. “Do you really believe that any of this is a coincidence? I mean of all the places for this aunt to be, in the whole world? She’s 15 minutes away from you? And not to mention, she’s in the same situation as your mother was.
Don’t you think, that the Lord is doing something?”
As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I had no other choice. If I were to plan a revenge, this would be similar, except the part about the phone call would have been played out in a different manner.
I would have instead, answered the call and twisted the knife. “Oh, you say you had a breakdown, like my mom did? Oh,, and you have no children to help you? Oh, and now you are calling me, the one child you tormented and placed in a home, oh so many years ago? Hmmm, that’s too bad. I’m very busy.”
 
No, I knew that this was not what the Lord had planned, when He said, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.”
I saw this as something He was doing for me. After all, I had been praying for her.
Now, I made the drive to see her. Still feeling the remnants of my childhood anger, I arrived at this little shack of a house. It held a few rooms and a cafeteria.
As I asked one of the nurses, where my aunt was, she told me she was dining in the cafeteria. She pointed to a small,, circular window.
“She’s right there!”
“I don’t understand,” I told her. “Where?”
She pointed again, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. It could have been that I was looking for the woman, who had always looked much younger than her age. Full of spunk, a full head of red hair, and wild as a young girl.
All I could see was an old woman with gray, unkempt hair. Much heavier than my aunt, sipping a spoon of soup, while hands trying to steady the shaky fingers, to her mouth, without spilling.
“That’s my aunt?” I was in shock. What had happened to her?
I realized at that moment, that I was filled with pity. I started to weep. All of the desire for any revenge, left my heart. All I wanted to do was give her a hug, and let her know everything would be ok.
Now, I realized that this was part of the Lord’s plan. Not just for her, but for me.
I sat with her, and listened to her tales woe. Knowing that she had been responsible, did not decrease my compassion. She was the ‘Prodigal Daughter,’ and I know that I have been her myself, many times.
So, I continued to grow closer to her, and pray fervently for her over the years.
I had gone up to pray for her since, finding out she had this heart condition.
I found in my bible, a prayer request listed from my church in 1989, for her salvation.
She was so blessed when I gave this to her. Just to know, I had been doing this for many years.
Yes, I have come to realize that the Lord doesn’t heal us, because we deserve it, but because we don’t deserve it.
This is true grace.
I reflected back on ‘Robert, the Sunday school teacher.’ And this experience which the Lord would one day use, for His own purposes. Who knew,if this aunt had placed me in this awful place, that I would be praying over her one day.
Yes, I am blessed.
 
Now, I heard from my cousin, yesterday, that my aunt had taken a turn for the worse.
I called and asked her caregiver, to place the phone up to her ear, so that my mother and I would be able to speak to her.
As my mother gave her words of comfort and love, I marveled at the things our Lord had done. But the ultimate healing is to be with Him. This was my message to her.
I reminisced of the fun times we’ve had and made her laugh  quite hard, as I recounted some of our experiences together. I told her to ‘hold on,’ to these funny memories, as the Lord came for her. Because it is true, the “joy of the Lord is our strength.
At about midnight, I received a message that my aunt had passed away.
I went to tell my mother, and I don’t believe I’ve ever seen my mother cry like this. Even at the loss of her mother. Perhaps it is because of the long history with her own sister, and the fact that they shared the same womb.
I held my mother again this morning and was so comforted in knowing that I am with her, when she heard this news.
Yes, this is difficult, but I can say, “Thank you,” in spite of the circumstances. For the ones, who had given to the Lord. My life has truly been changed.
I will miss her, but the one thing I do know in this life, we will see each other again. In a place where there is no pain or sorrow.
Until that time, Rest In Peace, Aunt Dottie!

Yes, I Am Peculiar!


And the Lord has told me this. He took me in spite of all of my baggage. In fact, He accepted me because of my baggage. He told me I am beautiful and a peculiar treasure. I am blessed to be a part of His Body, and we are a chosen priesthood. (Exodus 19:5, 1Peter 2:9) 

A while back, I was told by someone that “Nobody cared” about me.  Though they were responsible for some of my suffering. It is the typical response for people who lack compassion. Their adage is, “The secret to success, is knowing who to blame.”

I felt the sting of that arrow, and I was not wearing my armor. The lie of the enemy had penetrated my heart. I was now isolated and withdrew from the Body. I was in deep despair, and I felt there was no one.

But something happened. In the midst of my anguish, the Lord reminded me, that I am not alone, and He cares. One day, as I was driving down the street near my home, I looked up; There it was. A billboard and the simple words, “I Care…God.” I knew He was giving me a message and I’m sure many others. So the man who had spoken those words to me was right. Nobody cared, but thank God, Somebody does! And He’s the only one who matters.

 He spoke tenderly to me and drew me back from all the pain that attempted to swallow me. He reminded me that if I am connected to His Body, that I will not suffer shame nor disgrace. (Isaiah 54: 4-8) He is my husband. 

I am so peculiar, that I have abandoned myself to Him and His ways. I believe what He tells me and I’ve experienced too much to put my trust in the world and it’s ways. I know everything He tells me is true. 

Yesterday, I felt fear come over me, as I was going to work. His voice softly speaking to me, “Have I ever let you down? Do you think I am not powerful enough to hold you up?” “No Lord, I have seen miraculous works in my life by the power of your hands, and I will not sin against you by entertaining doubt and unbelief.” I read a quote by Mother Theresa, and I laughed, as it spoke of my own experience. “I know He doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle,I just wish He didn’t trust me so much!” 

I had flown with a woman who was terrified to sit down and even in the turbulence, she came back to hold the hands of a flying partner. She shared  that she had been on a flight that had encountered severe turbulence, and she was terrified. This was the flight that I was supposed to work a few weeks ago. As we comforted her, I said a prayer, that the Lord would bring her peace. He had once again, reminded me, that He was watching over me, and I could reach out for Him at any time. 

My faith had grown in the desert experience. Of course faith cannot grow, except through suffering. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence, of things unseen. And we are told all that we need is a mustard seed. I carried mustard seeds around in a jar, to remind me of this, when I was feeling extremely fearful. I would look at the tiny seed, and say, “I know I have that much!” The Lord would tell me to step out, and He would do the rest. I’ve learned that faith isn’t going to grow, unless you exercise it. He has never let me down. 

So when you read my posts or hear me speak, and you have an inclination to believe, this woman is crazy. Just remember, I am very peculiar. But I am so blessed to be His peculiar treasure. And to be a part of the growing crowd. We are all pressing in, to Him. Just as the crowds pressed Him, everywhere He walked.

It is our calling to bring the Good News, to those who are in darkness. So they may become part of His Body too. “When men are brought low and you say, “Lift them up!” Then He will save the downcast. He will deliver even one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.” (Job 22:29) 

Look closely at His body and His beauty. How could you not want to be peculiar too?

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