Back to Work Program, Hire A Mascot!

Ok, come on, Miami?! Seriously? The new Marlin Baseball stadium, seems to have all the bells and whistles, but what Oh my gaudy! What in the world is going on with this new ‘art’ in the middle?  Is this to attract people? Already, people are weighing in, with negative comments. This is ridiculous. It is a huge, display of neon, in an attempt to dazzle. Some have compared it to pinball machines, Vegas, etc. You get the picture.The only thing that was missing, was the neon pink flamingo’s. I suppose, to have gotten the opinions of the public, potential fans, would have been out of the question?

Not buying it. And evidently, neither is anyone else. It was designed to be a nice attraction. But, for the price of 2.5 million? Why couldn’t we put a dent in the deficit? Better yet, why not poll the public for ideas first? Oh no. That sounds like an argument I have about my union, at work. Heaven forbid, you really have to listen, to ideas from people whose interests you should represent. That would negate all those nice bucks your shoving into your own pockets.

Oh, I didn’t just diss my union, did I? Well, let’s move on. We have OWS, to handle this. And by the time we’re through, we just may have some better ideas, including the implementation for stadiums, which would cut down on the spending considerably. And I have no doubt, offer a lot more fun.

Now, I don’t want to brag,(Bragging Jackass), but, how about looking at ‘all things Wisconsin, for your marketing strategies? No, we are just common folks, but let’s compare. Milwaukee Brewers. Hmmm, when there’s a home run, Bernie the Brewer, slides down a slide. We all get to watch on the screen, and some of us, can see him. If you’re close enough. Oh, that doesn’t sound cool? I guarantee, after a couple of beers, and getting all hyped up for your team, it’s astounding!

Now, you absolutely, have not lived, until you’ve seen, the sausage race. That’s right, people. It is a highlight. I actually got to go down to the field, the day of the race, with my brother and my son. They loved it. Talk about, audience engagement.

There is a story, I still recall, about one of the Brewer’s taking a swipe at a sausage, as they came around the bend. Come to find out, it was a young girl inside, the costume, and the Brewer, was in some boiling hot, sausage brew, after the game.

Ah, those poor, mascots. It always made me think, that they should, indeed, have a union, to protect them. Kind of the bun, if you will, to keep them cushioned from the blows.

And let’s not mention those Packers! We are the only culture, who are not afraid to don the cheesehead! Now, it only seems to make sense, that these teams, and the people, should be followed. If it’s been working for us, for all these years, jump on the bandwagon.

And let’s not forget, all the people that we can use, by the use of these mascots, and not an inanimate object, cluttering up the field. I think we should have a marlin, manatee, shark, race. There, that’s three people, with a job offer, already. And I’m betting this could be a highly prestigious position. Replace, all the celebrities, of this world, with mascots. Perhaps they could name them, such as they did, Bernie. I’m thinking, Merlin the Marlin. I know, I know, we already have a Billy. But Merlin, has a nice ring to it.

 When you are in your social circles, and people ask, “Hey what do you do?” And you respond, “Well, I’m Merlin the Marlin! It would be instant recognition. Like, Cher. No explanation needed. Asking for autograph’s and pictures. All the marketing. Just think about it. Believe me, these people will remember you long after, Kim Kardashian!

I’m not into anything fancy. Just a good time. And isn’t that all that we want, when we come to a game? What do you think?


Who Is Snuffy Anyway?

Sesame Street's lovable Snuffy

Yes, I have always been perplexed by this, and I’m sure some of you know this. Who is inside of Snuffleupagus? That cute thing on Sesame Street? For a while Big Bird used to talk about him as if it was his imaginary friend and no one believed him. Then he made his appearance.

The other day I was reminded of him again. Just when my kids thought I had finally put it to rest, Sesame Street celebrated their 40 year anniversary and dredged it all up again. I had been reminded of the time I had a girl on my flight and she told me that her husband worked on the set. My first question was, “hey, aren’t there two people inside that Snuffy character?” “Well, yea,” she replied. “Well, what does the person in the back tell everyone that he does for work?” I mean, I’m just curious. When the questions begin, say at a dinner party.  Like, “Oh, you are the one in that Snuffy character? Oh, I thought there were two of you. Oh, there are two? Oh, which one are you?”

She just cracked up and stated, no one has ever asked me that.

Yea, I can just imagine. Then my daughter told me. “You know, you’re right. I saw the guy that played Big Bird on a few shows to honor the anniversary, and every time they were asking him about the Snuffy character, he would say, “oh he’s getting the mail, or he’s using the bathroom!” lol “See? I told you!” I was very excited to hear this, since it seemed to prove something.

I can’t say that I blame them at all.If there are two, someone has to be in the back. In my company, that would mean seniority rules. I guess this is where a union comes in handy. As I read this list of puppeteers, it states the names and responsibilities, and it does say clearly, backup, hmm, I’m wondering  if that’s code for, second in command. Of course most of the puppets are small, but by looking at the size of this animal, come on! How can one person walk around in that suit?

And that just leads right back to my to my previous posts on “mascot abuse.” Don’t forget about that poor Bratwurst that was smacked with a baseball bat while running the bases in Milwaukee, only to have that Milwaukee Brewer find out it was a sweet young girl inside. What is this world coming to?