Is it Possible? Love At First Sight?

I would have never thought it possible. I was unprepared. From what I’ve heard, it happens, but I had no personal experience…until a few years ago.

It was totally unexpected and although nothing has ever transpired,  Even now, I  feel his presence in my life. I have been at once, in awe and depressed at the whole meeting. I was afraid at the intensity of my feelings. I didn’t understand and tried immediately to extricate him from my life. A fear of being hurt and also a confusion about my role. So accustomed to being used as a shield, I wanted to keep him at a distance.

 At times, giddy at the thought of him. At other times, wishing I’d never met him.I found myself  longing for him and feeling a spiritual love, growing stronger with each day, yet seemingly impossible to pursue.Thinking, how strange. I don’t really know this man at all. But yet, that isn’t true either. I have had much indirect contact and long enough to find out about his character. I had tested the man, to the limits, and he still remains constant. A calm and gentle demeanor, with a perfect mix of strength. Unlike anyone I have ever known.

I am beginning to understand so many verses in my favorite book, Song of Solomon. The greatest book on love within scripture. The woman says, “if only you were like my brother, I could take you in secret and kiss you.”

Well obviously she is not speaking of incest, but rather the fact that the man she loves, is too prominent or illusive to be seen with. It is a deep longing she has,  Powerful enough to make her seek him out at risk of being in the dangerous places and outside of the law. She goes alone without any thought to her safety.  There is a strict curfew which she violates because of this desperation to see the object of her love. She is caught and beaten by the ‘watchmen,’ for her indisgression.”All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for himbut did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through the streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart love”? Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go.”(Song of Solomon 3:1-4)

But he risks just as much as she does. He longs to see her and will arrive in time, for just a glimpse. In spite of the fact that it is danerous for him, as well. He tries, in vain, to bring this to it’s conclusion. But a heart’s love cannot be thwarted. Not for either of them.

His words don’t matter.She still longs for him and she is warned over and over again, “Daughter of Zion, do not arouse love, before it desires.” She is wise to this point, as she realizes that there are way too many, which give this warning no serious thought, therefore, they haven’t experienced this incredibly powerful and very rare, love. Her love is to be protected and there are many who seek to destroy it. “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” (S.O.S. 2:15)

It is the love which is spiritual and lasting, with a final consummation. It is deep and abiding. Eternal.

The unfulfilled desire and longing in the heart, seems frustrating and at times it is the expectation of connecting again, that seems is impossible to bring it to fruition. In some cases, it is. This is also expressed in S.O.S. I can relate to the sadness at her hopes dashed. “Hope deferred makes a heart sick.” I know that this is the way we are to wait on the Lord.

 Lives, have obligations and many people are responsible for not understanding the verse, “Do not arouse love before it desires.” Many in this world have entered into relationships after a physical connection had taken place first, and were influenced by the passion. Then passion, as it is known to do, drains from the relationship. Now the reality of what is left, begins to reveal itself. Sometimes it is not too appealing.

I understand this. I know so many people who have gone through the ‘crisis.’ Sometimes the couple stays together, for the sake of their children, finances or other obligations.  Either way, it is a difficult thing.

 At times I know that my heart can speak and he hears me. It’s that “Radar Love,” which is sending messages to him. He knows he is the one. He probably doesn’t know why he’s different. But he is. He had something which my heart  loved, the minute we met. So it was not so much love at first sight as it was  ‘love at first knowing.’ A recogniztion of who he is. I believe it is mutual. He has proven his love. He claimed ownership. I certainly  never expected this person to do the things he’s done for me. He went the extreme distance to show his position in my life.  I cannot help but love him and I certainly cannot stop it.

If the day ever arrives and he comes to me, I will certainly not turn him away. But for now, I believe he is my picture.

In many ways I believe the Lord placed him in my life so that I had a comparison. I could see that there is a person who could be a physical example of God’s love. I had no concept of this before. I prayed for many years that the Lord would give me a picture of this. A person who can love another without expecting anything. A protective and selfless love. I pray that everyone can have a picture of this in their lives.

Now when I read the Song of Solomon, it becomes more real than it has ever been. “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”