You Have Disappointed Me


The Lord longs to show you compassion

This is His word to us

“The Lord is full of grace and mercy and He longs to forgive.”

It’s amazing, what a simple message this is, yet so powerful. We are not like Him. He tells us this. And yet I read and hear stories about someone falling from grace, every day.

Yet, this is not true grace. It’s only our human standards, subject to change with each person’s rules. It is not an absolute standard of righteousness. Where does this absolute standard originate, if we are so subjective in our judgments? Yes, this is the question that comes to each of us at some time or another. Moral codes. And why don’t the animals have them as well? Is there a such thing as murder, incest, rape, in the animal world? So, we can already acknowledge that humans have a moral code and it has been placed within us. “For since the creation of the world, His invisible qualities, have been clearly seen, His eternal power, His divine nature-have been clearly seen, being misunderstood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” (Romans 1:20)

Today the sex scandal and tomorrow, something else. What do we expect? We are fallen beings, living in a corrupt world. We are subject to temptations every day, and what is the source of power to overcome?Or shall I say, Whom? It is not going come from a man-made system of religion. This story shows yet another person, trying to become sanctified by a form of religion and sinning at the same time, while pointing the finger at others. A perfect example of the Lords word to us, “Be careful how you judge, lest you be judged by the same measure, you use.”

Oh, I know, we all have done it. There is always someone, worse than myself. However, God does not look at things the same way, as we do. The sacrifice of our Lord, meant and open curtain between us and the Father, for us all. But in so doing, and this is the rub, we first must acknowledge that we just aren’t as good as we think we are. Yep, that’s the difficult part. How can we acknowledge this, if we are yet looking at someone else and saying, “I’m not as bad as that guy!”

This story in the news, is the same as all I have heard this past year. Sex scandals, drugs, greed. I watched the evening news the other night and the title was, “Who has disappointed us the most in 2009?” The mere title, gives the impression that we, have some courtroom and sit as the judges of all mankind. We know that judges in the courts, are also sinful men, as we have seen in our own government. No one is immune to this ‘sin disease.’

So, who are we to say that “We are disappointed?” I had a pastor state, that if God told us, “Listen, I’m going to pick 20 minutes of your life and show it to the world.” We would be hysterical about this. Wouldn’t we want to choose the portion that denotes all of our ‘good behavior? But if God told us, I will be the one to decide. I’m betting we would have the ACLU standing at the door!

I mean who does this ‘God” think He is? Violating my rights, like this! If He does this, it will show the world that I am just like them and then I will lose my self-appointed right to judge others by my standards!

Yes, this is it, isn’t it? It’s all about rights. I had someone speak to me recently about the rights of a person, and the person, she was speaking of, is in prison.  At some point, even in this world system of laws, we can lose our rights. Or a better explanation is that we choose, to give them up.

But while we decide, who’s rights have been trampled, we need to stop, and look at the cross. A man, who had done no wrong, died because He gave up His rights for us,. And He willingly did this, for the ones who could not be right in any way, shape or form, no matter how hard we tried.

As I read this story in the news bout this “scandalous woman,” I noticed that she  gave money to her church, which her sister pastored. I’m betting, she thought she was ‘buying some grace,’ to elevate herself. For some reason, we still try to assume God is like man. He can be bribed, to turning a blind eye to our deeds. This is mans way of doing things. Empty religion.

The Lord tells us, “They worship me with their lips, but their hearts, are far from me. The hold to a form of religion, but deny my power.”

Of course, this is a picture of everyone, before we reach the true understanding, of how sick all of us really are. This is why Jesus Christ, the great physician, has come. He came for the sick, not the healthy. And my joke has always been, “that if a man thinks he’s healthy…he the sickest of all!”

Every day, I must remind myself, I am sick, in need of the physician. When we lean on Him, and not our own strength, we allow the Lord to take these burdens. He will give us the strength to overcome. The law of sin and death is inherent, in every human being, and therefore, our choice will always be to follow our flesh…that is until we turn to the Lord. We just cannot turn from sin, before we accept Him, to be our master and savior.

When a person falls, and they are ‘shamed,’ I believe that they are closer to the truth, than most. It is this discipline that the Lord speaks about. “He disciplines those that He loves.” He also tells us, “be sure to know that your sin will find you out.” Oh haven’t I experienced that thousands of times in my life?

It isn’t pleasant, and it has caused some, to even jump from the tallest buildings, however, if you listen carefully, this is probably the Lord bringing you to a place of submitting. It is His love allowing this uncovering. What feels like punishment is His perfect love. “Fear has to do with punishment, but perfect love, casts out all fear.” He wants you to know this perfect love.

If you are reading this, yes, He’s speaking to you. You are not so great as you think you are. You think that you are better? Yes, so did I. You think perhaps, because you haven’t ‘killed anyone,’ or ‘raped anyone,’ that you have a loophole? Or perhaps you have raped or killed. Well, God wants all of us. He loves us and He knows that the reason we do terrible things is because we are trying to live without him. He wants all of His children to know Him and once we realize it is His blood that He shed, to allow us in we are forgiven. He tells us that “as far as the east is from the west, I will remember you sin no more.” (Psalm 103:13)

I had an interesting discussion the other day about those words. The Lord did not say, “the North from the South, because one we reach the North Pole we start to go south again, but East is always East and West is always West. It is infinity…and where our sins are cast when repentance comes to us.

But what about you? What is the Lord speaking to you this day? Are you finding yourself, disappointed in world leaders, or the idols of the world? Have they “let you down,” because you had the false hopes that someone achieved a ‘god status?’ Well, stop being disappointed. Only God can be this for you. And He is reaching out to grab you in you quietest moments. When you are alone with no one else, He is speaking to you. The Lord tells us that “No one, can come to me, unless the Father who sent me, draws him, and I will raise him up on the last day.” (John 6:44) “So as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden you hearts.” (Hebrews 3:7,8)

This is your day, the first day, whether great or small, it makes no difference to the Lord, for He is no respecter of men. Turn to Him, and let Him be your rock and your shelter. He will never disappoint you!

Jesus Loves You….And So Do I!

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A Family Held Captive(Starting Over)


I can’t believe it. I actually had to find out that I was being stonewalled and then when I was searching online, there it was..

Oh, I’m sure none of this mail is getting out or my blog being read except by whomever is chosen. It is the reason for the title of this dream. I am captive in my own home, so to speak. And so will any American citizen be if the government employs this tactic. It’s something that not very many Americans are too educated about and they’d better catch up, because it seems that corporations and corrupt government uses this tactic to suppress whistleblowers with frequency and you may be the target and not even know it. It’s called the Patriot Act. This allows government to wire tap without a warrant and even to  allow law enforcement to enter your home and rifle through your belongings.Think it can’t happen to you? Think again. Statistics prove otherwise.

If  you have reported something that involves safety and they decide to turn the tables, you may be the target. Now legal hands are tied and there’s a gag order in place and attorneys mouths are shut and the justice you are seeking is out of reach.

Remember in the dream, when I was in my bathroom and someone came in to hand me a check? This meant  the invasion of privacy that was part of the dream. I had no idea until I read about this Act. Everything started to unfold. All of the incidents that I had experienced over time and the reason that legal channels were literally blocked.I t seemed that some people even knew that I as coming to see them before I arrived and what I was going to speak to them about, hence wire tapping. I’ve seen people from the phone company coming from the side of my house repeatedly, without my calling for service and they hurriedly leave when I spot them without explanation. I’ve caught a person , digging through my trash and numerous other incidents in the past years, since I reported this incident.Bizarre, yet I believe they are   all related to this act and when you read about this you Patriot Act, you will see how any normal, law abiding citizen can literally be robbed of any or all of their rights in any given day and what I am sharing will not sound so bizarre to you.

Please do yourself a favor and look up this act and see how it can affect your life. Not since Adolph Hitler or Julius Cesar have we lost so much in our lives. This is a complete travesty of the justice system and I’m shocked that we, as Americans have been asleep at the wheel, as this has transpired. It has taken me this long to connect the dots and realize that it is probably this Act, that is probably what these rogue corporations are probably using to engage in illegal activities along with corrupt government. Whoa to anyone that figures this out. It has been a nightmare for me. A long road of suffering and leading all the way to the top as the Lord told me it would But remember also, in the dream, it leaves with freedom in the end.

It cannot continue forever, however, since even government can be exposed for this blatant abuse of power.The Lord Himself revealed this to me as I was searching. It says in His word that the Holy Spirit reveals all truth to believers. Everything started to make sense as I looked back at what had been happening to me. This would seem a powerful tool in the hands of the wrong people and used for the wrong purposes.

Every American has a right to justice and this is the reason that we have laws in place to protect our freedoms. It separates us from rogue nations.An alleged attorney called me today, claiming to be from some firm that is supposed to protect these freedoms, however, I didn’t really believe he was who he had claimed to be, since he seemed to be mining me for information. He started out by calling which the website clearly stated they would not do. They specifically stated everything was to be by us mail. This was the first indication that this man was false. He also did not seem to have a clue about my letters and was asking me about what they said. Then he told me “the case is too big.”  Hey, what attorney would have such a problem?

Then, just like the others, he would ask, why I would have knowledge of these things if this happened at the top and I was a flight attendant? At this I just want to laugh. Men just don’t understand how God works or they would have stopped harassing me a long time ago and used me for counsel, since I get my advice directly from the Lord. I’m not trying to bring destruction, but restoration.

Now look at the mess they’re in. And it just keeps getting worse.You can’t spy on the Lords servants and expect to find out how they’re getting their information. We tap into the spirit of God. If you want to know how we find out what’s happening, get on your knees and ask Him yourself! But you need to stop treating me like I’m the criminal. The righteous ones are not the ones that are bringing this country to ruin. We are the ones trying to turn the hearts back to the Lord so that He can bless this country.

If you bless me, you will be blessed. It’s as simple as that. It is my hidden name. The name of all of His chosen ones. If you curse me, you will be bringing a curse upon yourself.

You have been looking at my natural station in life and not my calling.

Where Can I Hide From Your Spirit?


London subway bombingsBack door of our hotel

Yes, it happened and I wasn’t the only one there, although people would want everyone to think it never happened. Twelve other crew members to be exact.  We were told to walk down a street in full uniform while bombs were exploding and suffered trauma as a result of this.I was the one that fought with everyone in authority. I told them that this was insane. I was the one that was taken aside and they tried to persuade repeatedly since I was the spokesperson for the others that didn’t want to go.

Now I’m supposed to pretend it never really happened because reports were covered up. But everybody knows. My own reputation is being ruined and because I was the only one that reported it, I am being told to just be quiet and go away. But I’m not going away and neither are any of the others that were in this incident. We have all suffered as a result of this, no matter how harmless this seems to the ones that sent us into this street. Because we weren’t killed, does not mean no harm had taken place that day. We all assessed our own lives as we ran down the street and when we found out another bomb exploded, one of the pilots ran off and left us, stranded on the street.

We were terrified and as we rode on the bus knowing that there could be suicide bombers in the area, we had to wonder if we would make it to the airport. We also wondered what the whole point of the mission was, since most of the transportation was shut down and if we would indeed make it back to the states. Quite a few crew members were crying. I will never forget that day and was angry enough to file an action, but now I’m more angry to find out that this was covered up. I told the attorney that it was never about money. I wanted to tell the story so that it did not happen again. But to have this swept under the carpet and to now to be treated so bad this past year as if I’m the one that has done something wrong for taking a stand, just infuriates me.

I risked my life for a company and been threatened and harassed repeatedly.The terrorism that I had experienced that day in the streets of London was nothing compared to the terrorism that I experienced this past year since these corporate people have learned that I’ve discovered they covered up the safety reports. I have lived without money and had benefits cut and now they have tried to strip me of any dignity, because of their own lack of integrity.

I’m sorry but I thought I lived in a country where we had a constitution and it separated us from countries that operated under dictatorship. Lately I’ve been seeking justice and can find none. My union has all but disappeared. The justice system is so corrupted that it’s difficult to find anyone to pursue people just for the sake of integrity. So the average citizen’s pursuit of any kind of life,liberty and justice, is pretty much a myth, However, when the Lord decides it’s time, it will all implode, and believe me, it’s coming soon.

“Since the time of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of God has suffered violence, but the violent shall take it by force.” (Matthew 11:12) The believers are not called to maintain the kingdom until the return of the Lord, but to advance the kindgom and we do this by upholding truth and righteousness. It is not easy or comfortable. It’s not convenient. I remember a pastor of mine telling me that if you are comfortable in the Lord, you’re in a dangerous place. You should be in the battle.” Of course he was talking about the spiritual battle, not a physical battle. People would rather not speak up and say anything to rock to boat. It’s easier to just follow the rest of the sheep. But the Lord also says, “there is a way that seems right to a man, but it leads to destruction.

I am confident that the Lord will expose all of these deeds in due time. No man can hide from His spirit. (Psalm139:7)