You’re Not Superficial, You Only Seam Like It!

Yea he's my kid

Ok, this particular evening, my son came running into the family room, as he often does, to perform for us.Yes, it seems he thrives on attention. Yet, when I mention that he should be in theater, he cringes. “No way! I’ll never do that!” Then he acts as if this is just so far removed from his personality.

The fact is, that as long as I can remember, he’s come up with characters. He used to do a hobbled walk, and say, “I’m a little old man, walking away.” When he was only about 4 years old, he started this.

Once, I was picking up a pizza, with my mom and him, in a little carry-out place. We sat in our chairs, and as an older man stood up, my son began his little   comedy routine. “Look! It’s a little old man, walking away!” He said, “Look! Grandma!” She could barely contain herself. She was laughing so hard, and couldn’t look up. I said, “What are you doing? This is embarrassing. I almost walked out.

But, he is incredibly funny. And it has presented challenges over the years. So, here he comes bounding into the family room, to start. He begins a little dance he does. He kicks his long lanky legs, up into the air, as if he’s one of the Rockette’s. I begin to laugh, because his legs are so white, and skinny. He has black shorts on and is hilarious.

Then we discussed the new carpet. My ex-husband just installed it for me and he’s a perfectionist. He was obsessing over a seam in the carpet, which I honestly couldn’t see at all. This was just more fodder for my son.

Now, my son was imitating him. He strides into the room and says, “How beautiful. Oh wait! What’s that?” He looks down, horrified.

Then he says, “I’m sending you to Disney World!” He pretends he’s from the Show, Extreme Makeover, and starts laughing himself, as he’s playing out the scene in his head.

“Hey, this is funny. So you are at Disney, and Ty Pennington, calls you to show you how he’s demolishing your home.” Yes, I can see it,” I said, as I’m laughing. “Like he gets a wrecking ball and begins to smash the house.” “Yea,” he says. “Then he brings in a bulldozer!” He brings all the people in the neighborhood. We are laughing hysterically, as we repeat lines from the show.

He says, “Yea, they wreck the whole house, just because of the carpet seam and then they put it all back exactly the way it was, except they fixed the seam.”

Then, they have the big, bus in front of our home,  and the crowd begins to shout, “Move that bus!!!” As the bus moves to reveal an identical replica of our last house.

There’s a whole swell of people, crying and telling us how sad they felt, when they saw the huge seam in the middle of our carpet. And no one should have to live like this. At this, Ty and his gang, tell us that they have someone special to perform for us. And he introduces, Eminem. “Oh, I just couldn’t bare the thought, of ya’ll livin like that.” He says. “That would make me lose my mind.” And as a tribute, he performs his song, Just Lose It.

I was so exhausted laughing, I wished that a sitcom, would pick this up. My son, is already coming up with  some pretty good routines.  What brilliant, comedic genius. And it’s being wasted in middle school. Hope they don’t dumb him down too much.

I decide it’s time for us to come home, and I remind my son that at this point, Ty needs to be standing at the door, to usher us in with the famous lines, “I only have one thing to say to you! Welcome Home!”

Now don’t get me wrong. I love this show. It has real people, with terrible struggles. I’m not making light of any of those people. And it’s not to say, I don’t really need a home makeover myself. But the little seam, which I can’t even see, made me laugh. I can’t imagine someone coming in and saying, “what’s with that seam?”

We both were both cracking up and I thought, I will never be able to look at this carpet without thinking about this invisible seam, which became more visible with my son’s sense of humor!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. garrymoore
    Nov 27, 2011 @ 21:18:52

    hi to all flygurlual.wordpress.comers this is my first post and thought i would say hello to you all –
    thank yous speak soon
    garry m


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