Mile High Club

Fly With Me!

It’s NOT a fantasy for flight attendants!

Now that I have that out-of-the-way, I sure hope everyone gets this message. I have been on a crusade for years, that not every flight attendant is sleeping with the pilots, and we sure don’t aspire to the ‘Mile High,’ aspirations of some passengers.

Have you seriously gone into our bathrooms? You have to be a contortionist, just to engage in this exercise. Not to mention the ‘nasty factor.’

Now, I just flew a trip out of New York. My first, since returning. I knew the guy I was flying with. I remembered his face, yet didn’t remember the story. It takes a while sometimes. Most flight attendants, associate events of the flight, to the people they are working with. If it’s an uneventful flight, (which it rarely is) you may have a difficult time. However, at times the jumpseat revelations,or layover behavior,may be more than enough to jar a memory of a person.

I was on another airline and I was talking with the flight attendant, when we were reminiscing. We had discovered that we had both worked for Eastern Airlines. All of a sudden he said something really funny and I looked at him, and said, “Wait a minute! I remember you! I have a picture of you, another friend, and me, in a little photo booth. I just looked at it the other day!” We were laughing so hard and at this point remembered the exact flight, though it was so many years ago.

Now, I was looking down the business class aisle, as Jose was waking forward. As he approached, he pointed at me, and I pointed at him, and in unison, we said, “I remember you!”

“Oh, my gosh!” I said. I worked that flight with you when that young guy tried to ‘mile high,’ me!” He started laughing as I recounted the story;

The girls we were working with listened as I told them about the young guy (about 22) who was sitting in business class. Legs up on the seat and quite obviously a musician or surfer. I approached him and asked, “Are you a musician?” “No,” he said, “he’s the musician, I’m the agent.” As he pointed to the much older gentleman beside him. It was his stab at humor. “Well, I think my daughter would love you.” I laughed and asked him what kind of music?

He told me he used to play with Avril Levine, and continued, “I’m playing a concert tonight in New York, if you want to come.” “Nope, thanks, but I’m a commuter, and as soon as I’m done, I’m flying home. Maybe sometime in the future.”

He came up to the galley, where I was standing with two flying partners. One of them was Jose. “Hey,” he said, “Are you on Myspace?” “Sure, I am, isn’t everyone?” At this time, Myspace, was the trendy site. It’s since been replaced by Facebook. I told them, I was being called a MILF,by some guys on this site, and when I found out what it meant, I thought it was hilarious, albeit vulgar. At any rate, it was meant to be a compliment. At least, it made me feel younger.

The two guys, I was working with, had no idea what it meant, and this musician, interpreted. “A Mother I’d Like to ****. ” At this they were very amused.

The musician stated he would write his myspace address down and give it to me during the flight. “Ok, I’ll add you when I get home.”

I was walking down the aisle at one point, and he thrust his hand toward me with a crumpled cocktail napkin. “Here’s my address.” As I stuck it into my pocket, I went to the galley, and a few minutes later, headed to the coach cabin. I got to the back galley, when I see, this guy walking back. “What are you doing back here,” I asked. “Decide to visit coach?”

He smiled and stepped backward into the side lav, as he was using his pointer to communicate, that he wanted me to follow. As I looked at him, I was in shock! “Are you crazy?” I said. He continued. Jose, was sitting on the jumpseat, oblivious to what was taking place. This guy kept motioning, relentlessly, to me to come into the bathroom.

He finally stepped out, as Jose got up and we were talking. Now he stepped into the back bathroom on the other side, and started doing the same thing. I said, “What in the world do you think you’re doing?” “Come on!” he pleaded. “Aren’t you in the ‘mile-high’ club?” I said, “Listen, if a man wants to take me out, he’d better ask me to dinner, and I don’t know to many people who would do that in there! A five-star hotel would be a much better choice.” And then I laughed. “Get out of there!”

Now a couple of the flight attendants came from the front, and not one of them knew he was doing this. He sheepishly stepped out of the bathroom, as he realized, it just wasn’t going to happen. He started walking back to business class, with me in tow. I affectionately pushed him gently and said, “Now get back to your seat!” I was still laughing when I got into the galley, but he was now, extremely quiet. He seemed really embarrassed. I didn’t understand why.  I didn’t really believe he was serious and I wasn’t angry.

I shared the event with my crew after we deplaned, and we thought it was so funny. We actually thought his boldness was pretty admirable.

Upon my return home, I logged on to my Myspace. I went to retrieve the crumpled up napkin, in my pocket, and this is when I saw his words scrawled which offered up the whole explanation; “MILF? Prove it! Meet me in the bathroom, in the back! And his myspace address.

Oh, this was too funny! I laughed so hard at the thought, that this guy thought I had stepped into the galley and read his note. The next thing he witnessed was my heading down the aisle to the back. The excitement he must have felt, to think that I was accepting his invitation, to the challenge.

I realized that he had no reason to believe, that I wasn’t accepting this offer. The poor kid. He must have been living the fantasy, only to have his hopes dashed on the bathroom floor. Probably thought I was trying to tease him. Which I certainly wanted to clear up.

I sent him a message, and told him, I had not read the message until I arrived home, and I laughed at the thought, that he misread my actions, but I told him, “In all my years of flying, no one has ever done that! I have to admire your boldness!

He added me to his list, and I probably went down in his archives. I’m sure there are many groupies in that list as well, But I would be the one who ruined that fantasy for him. For him, his “mile high club,’ was an aborted takeoff.

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