I Missed You!

The flesh profits nothing

It’s what he had spoken to me and if I had any spiritual understanding at the time I would have realized that it was a message from the Lord and not from man at all. But no, my eyes were so darkened by the world, I had to have eye surgery to remove the darkness. It almost makes me laugh when I think about what the Lord was doing to me. When I look back at my journals and how I was walking so close and my eyes were seeing everything in the light of the spirit and now, it was as if everything were dull. This is what sin does to a person. It is what the Lord meant about the eyes being the ‘windows to the soul.’ I couldn’t see what He was trying to show me, so the physician had to heal me.

Yes, when Christ walked this earth He constantly had to struggle with the egos of men and trying to teach them that He was always conveying a spiritual message, yet they wanted to constantly go back to what was natural. You have to laugh at times, when He would ‘call them out,’ and it was His own disciples, who had walked with Him and seen Him do the most amazing things, yet they still would ask some pretty dumb questions. He would have to say, “come on guys, are you still so dull?” Well, don’t think any of you have arrived. All of us are in that same boat that Peter was in with Him. 

After experiencing the most amazing miracles in my life; and I mean things that most would never believe, I started to go through hell. When you’re going through it, we tend to forget, however, the Lord even told Peter, it was surely going to happen. Look at Luke 22:31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” One of the first things you notice is that Satan must receive permission for his actions. That’s right, he isn’t all-powerful. Even in the book of Job, he went before the Lord ALMIGHTY, and sought permission. There are reasons for Gods decisions and they all build something in us, but the fact is, that God wants relationship with us and Satan wants to break it. It is also extremely powerful to see that we have Jesus Christ as our intercessor. There is no one more powerful than Him, to pray for our own needs before the Father. What comfort to know that He is praying for my faith in these circumstances. And then my responsibility is to turn back and encourage others when I have been restored.

We can see right after this that Peter, denied Christ, three times, however, he had gone on to become a powerful witness after Pentecost and did indeed encourage the others. 

After I had been so distraught with the whole world coming against me, I felt a small voice speak to me. He said, “I missed you.” Twice he spoke this message to me. Yes, it was through a man who it was spoken and it was a man who I had not even known, but a man that I was drawn to in a spiritual way. It was a deep connection that I could not explain and when I heard those words I pondered them. Everything surrounding this person was supernatural. The Lord made sure to remove him from me, because He knew the tendency would be to have a natural attraction to him. His message must be clear and concise. I had broken fellowship. Then the work began to bring me back. All the suffering and discipline…the sifting. Oh and you can bet I saw Satan and his minions everywhere. But although, I am ” in this world, I am not of this world.” After getting over the alarm, I had to remember the Lord’s words to me, “don’t be afraid, I have overcome the world, and “greater is He that is in me, than the one who is in this world.” Yes, all of those words have reminded me that although, the enemy may win some battles, we have already won the war!

The Lord removed me from the circumstances of the world for a period of time to remind me of all He had done for me and to remind me of who I am. I did not have an ordinary ‘walk’ with the Lord. No, many things I did not even share with most people, since they would just be above and beyond the human experience. As I’ve stated before, one friend told me that my life seemed to be one episode after another, of Touched By An Angel. At this I laughed and when she questioned why those things did not happen to her, I merely responded that I was probably too stupid to be scared! At a later point in her life, those things did begin to happen for her, as her faith grew. I know that with each person, as they begin to trust God, and step out in faith, they will live a life of adventure. If you aren’t, then question why. Are you practicing dead ritual? This is never what the Lord had intended for your life.

The Lord took me back to my prayer journals and showed me all of the lives that He had touched through me. Now, He said, “you will turn back and encourage your brothers.” 

He reminded me that he sends us out as sheep among wolves and I needed to be built up again. I had been all alone and as the Lord had turned around and found Himself isolated and lonely, I also was in a dark and lonely place. He showed me that He had warriors all around me to protect me and guide me. 

“Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed  us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” 2 Cor.1:21-22 This is what our Lord jealously desires. He has placed His spirit in us and He comes to redeem us. It is His seal. Yes, He is jealous for me. He misses me when I’m gone from Him. And I can say that the world was making me sick. I can answer Him honestly. I missed Him. As Peter said, when asked by the Lord, “Do you want to leave me too?” “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”

I heard his words. Yes, I had fallen. And He had called me back to Himself. It is His promise. I see everything so clearly. I was so focused on the flesh. But the flesh profits nothing. He was working out His plan and what a beautiful love story it has been. I received a visual answer to prayers offered up for many years. Yes, at first I had not recognized it. But now, I see it coming together. It gives power to my prayers and I ask the Lord to give others this same picture in their own lives. Make this real to them as well. Bind up the broken-hearted, so that they may also have something to hold onto. Give them a dream, a vision, like mine and combine it with a powerful experience. Then let me be the hands and feet to bring the message of your love and grace to a world that cannot understand anything but an inferior form of self-gratification, that has nothing to do with love. This deception is the trap that the enemy has laid for mankind and it is the poison that kills us, and yet humans will keep returning to it over and over again. 

But we have forgiveness and it is the grace that frees us. This is what the Lord wants to offer us by His blood. It is the unconditional love that cleanses us from all unrighteousness. 

“I said, “my feet are slipping Oh Lord, and it was your love that saved me from the pit.When people are dying all around us, and there isn’t much time in this world, it is important to get the message of His love to everyone. While everyone is worried about things that won’t last, the Lord asks a question and waits for an answer; “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8)

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