Encourage One Another


When you think you don't have words...

When you think you don't have words...

There is so much power in prayer that I can’t express it even in words.

Today the oppression was so strong. My mind seemed harassed by the enemy. It was full of depression and my body was full of pain. I have a torn rotator cuff in my shoulder and made yet another trip to the hospital to get another doctor to try to help me. I was so depressed to first have to stop and pick up the MRI, which they had lost and they were burning another copy.

By the time I had left my house, I was full of despair. So depressed about so many things that I couldn’t even begin to see through the fog. My thoughts were that I wish the Lord would return right now and take us all home. I long to see my father. Both heavenly and earthly. I’m weary from the battle and tired of the evil. I don’t want to fight it anymore. I just cannot stand one more day of this. I cried out as I was driving. “Where are you Lord?!”

I had to go into the hospital and sit. I sat in the little room and knowing that I no longer have insurance since my company terminated it, I asked about what my plan would be. The nice man told me about the plan and the couple that I met the night before just happened to be part of this plan. I knew that was from the Lord as well. They had told me all about this. Yes, it is quite unjust what has happened to me, but I try not to dwell on it, because then I get so hurt that I start to cry.

Now my arm throbs again and I start to think about my family and what is going on with all of these people and the last days as it applies to this. The Lord says all of this would happen as well. It makes me grieve all over again. I’m sadder than sad. I know only the light can make things better.

A doctor comes in and tells me that this arm requires surgery, but I must go to a doctor to have it done and once again, I must make another appointment to have this done. Since when don’t hospitals do surgery? I’m so sick and tired of all of this. I came to this hospital because its a state hospital with the hopes that I could have this taken care of once and for all. Now all I have is another bill that I can’t afford. They put my arm in a sling and the woman says, “what have you been taking for pain?” I tell her, “well, I had something but I used it up a while ago. Now I got some ibuprofen from someone last night. I try to sleep with my arm up on pillows.” This is all getting to be so exhausting. Now I am close to tears. Some nurse comes and tells me that I am going to need someone to drive me home before I can take this pill. Why? I wonder. I feel as if I’ve already been in the worse train wreck ever. Ok, I put a phone call in to my daughter. “Can you drive me home? I have to take some medicine and my arm is in a sling.” “Of course, she says. ” I keep joking with her that maybe I can get a job where she works as a one-armed dishwasher. Pretty soon it won’t be a joke since I’m almost bankrupt. Although, I doubt even they would hire me.

At any rate, I walk out and sit in the waiting room facing the windows so that I can see when her car drives up. As I am sitting there I remember our earlier conversation. Since I was so depressed she told me that she was tired of some of the things between my ex-husband and me and sometimes wondered if there was even a God. I was shocked. I said, “you of all people, could not think that!” After everything you’ve experienced in your life!”

As I thought of this and the damage done in her life and now my own words spoken in the car earlier, I began to cry. I sat in this seat and didn’t seem to notice anything around me at that moment except that I never felt lonelier and thought this past year of my life has been a living hell and now my children are living it too. Here I am feeling physical pain, no insurance, a company stealing from me, lying to me, people in my own family doing the same thing to me. The loneliest darkest feeling coming over me.

All of a sudden a tall black man slid into the seat beside me and looked over at me. Sunglasses in his hand, he said, “how are you doing?” As tears ran down my face, I said, “What?” He continued, “I feel your pain and you know the Lord told me to come over here and tell you that what you are thinking right now, it’s a lie.” My mouth dropped open in disbelief and I started crying even harder. “Oh my gosh, I said You don’t know how much I needed to hear those words.” “Oh, yes I do, he said. I’ve been sitting over there watching you and the Lord has been telling me to speak to you.”

Right then I opened my purse and showed him my prayer book and my small bible I carry with me and I said, I haven’t been able to even open these up. I haven’t even been able to pray. In fact a little while ago I asked God where He was. I couldn’t feel His presence at all. This man laughed and said, “You know, the Lord knows what we need before we can even ask. He’s our Father. I live way up in Coral Springs and for some reason I ended up coming here today. But I knew there would be someone along the way that the Lord was going to put in my path for a reason.”  I told him that this was incredible that even my daughter had been questioning the very existence of God and my own behavior was such a terrible witness to her and she was just now on her way to pick me up. I couldn’t wait for him to meet her. It’s not that I ever stop being amazed at the things that the Lord does.

As she arrived with my ex-husband and my son and brother, I was so excited for them to meet him. “My name is Melvin, he said, do you want to tell them how we met or shall I? Oh tell them I said”

It was so exciting to tell the story because my daughter was just as excited as she said, “Oh my gosh, I just asked on the way over here, “Where is God?”

Melvin brought his two grown daughters outside and his young son and it was so uplifting and he told me all about his wife and he reminded me that the reason that I am under such attack in my own personal life is because of the strides I am making for the kingdom of God. He said “you are very special to the Lord and the enemy hates this.”

Of course I know this, but we are to remind each other of all of these things and he was a vessel of the Lord to me today. I told him over and over again, “thank you for being faithful and obedient and speaking to me.”  I could have been crying because I was in pain, but the spirit of the Lord revealed to Him that I was having a spiritual battle and as he reminded me, the battleground of the enemy is in our mind.

I always remembered the teachings that I received on the crucifixion and our pastor used to tell us that Christ was crucified on Mount Golgotha, which was in the shape of a skull and it was symbolic of crucifying our thoughts when they enter into our minds.

My son told me that he had been praying for me and this was such a witness to him as well because I told him that I had given Melvin a card that I had in my purse that said, “I cried our to the Lord and he heard my prayer.” I thanked my son for praying for me and told him that prayers really are so powerful and God hears them and sends angels to answer. He told me to take his number in case I ever need to call on him day or night and he will always be available. He loves souls and that is a true servant of the Lord!

Today the Lord sent me an angel and his name is Melvin

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

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    Jul 18, 2010 @ 03:19:13

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