Well, I’ve had a return to work and it’s been one challenge after another, however, I know after my intense warfare in the past two years, that my Father does not allow anything to come to me, which He hasn’t given me the ability to handle.
Although it seems it is too much for one person to handle, I have the most challenging circumstances right now, and yet, I have a peace in the understanding that “He works everything together for good to those who love Him.”
At the beginning of this month, I began flying again. At the same time, my mother called repeatedly on my first trip, asking me to come rescue her from the mess she’d gotten herself into She made a decision a year ago, to move near one of my siblings, and I knew this was not good. She had health problems, she is very frail, and my sibling would not be the wisest choice for this move, since this is not one person of compassion.
Now she’s almost panicked as she calls me. I tell her, “mom, I just returned to work, and I was assigned a terrible line of trips for the month. I’m just learning the ‘commuting ropes,”once again, and have barely a few days off to come get you.” She called to tell me I could wait about three weeks. “Great, let me know when it’s a good time.” She calls back a few days later, upset again.”Please come and get me as soon as possible.” After talking to her and calming her down, I remind her once again, that I just can’t drop everything and come,, but I will as soon as I can work it out.
I received another call that she was ready anytime I could come, but preferable sooner, rather than later. Ok, I decided this was not going to stop until I went to get her, so having a couple of days off after my next trip, I stayed at the crew lounge and left as soon as I could to get her. I was so upset when I saw her, at the weight she had lost and the unhealthy appearance she had. Getting her through the airports was another matter. She complains constantly and refuses to accept that she just cannot get around like she used to. I had to force her to take the cart and a wheelchair, all the time listening to her rants, “I can take care of myself!” I would waver between sad and angry. I know she does not want to lose her independence, and I can understand this, but she just cannot do the things she was accustomed to doing, and I hate the fact that I am the whipping post, for her anger.Then I feel guilt at feeling angry, since I know my mother will not be around forever. This is a very difficult thing for me to come to grips with.
I finally got her home, after dragging her luggage and my own, through two airports, and putting them both in the overhead bins. I started to remember, that just a few months ago, none of this would have been possible. With the fact that I just could not think of flying and also my shoulder injury, made it impossible to lift bags up. I now could see the Lord’s hands and His timing.
After returning home with her, I thought, this will be great. She will get to spend time with my brother with special needs, her firstborn son. I realized that he was more capable of caring for her, than she was for him.
I had to leave the very next day for another trip. I told everyone I would be back in three days, since it was also my son’s birthday. I only had two days off, but was determined to make it back for him. He was turning 12, and this was very special.
Well, as I was sitting in the crew lounge, I received a call from another flight attendant asking if I would take her Geneva trip for my Los Angeles trip. “Of course!” Why would she even have to ask? I laughed. I have never been to Geneva, and it sure is better than the domestic trip I had.
I left on the trip and had a great time with the crew. When me and another girl returned to the hotel, we noticed on the news, that the flight that I was supposed to work, had encountered severe turbulence, and some crew members had been injured, as well as passengers. I was incredulous, as I knew that I had just traded out of this trip. No one could believe that this woman even gave that up. Now I saw the Lord’s divine protection. After being out for two years, that would have been the last thing I needed to experience.
After leaving on our flight to return to my domicile, we encountered a mechanical and had to divert to London. I started to wonder at all of this. Now I’m going to the one city, which caused so much panic for me. I asked the Lord to give me peace, and He reminded me that this was His plan for me. I had to face things which caused me to suffer, which was a lack of faith, but now He was using this experience to show me, that my faith has been strengthened to the point where, I no longer had fear.
As I arrived, I waited for the panic to begin, and it never did. I went to the hotel with my crew and put on some praise music in my room and felt His arms wrapped around me. I remembered also, stating that one day I was going to fly here again, to reclaim, what was lost. To face those demons which tried to shake my faith and make me run in fear. Now I’m standing strong and trusting in Him only.
I had missed my son’s birthday and this made me sad. I was also assigned to another trip, which gave me one day off. I asked scheduling to give me something which would allow me to come up later so I could commute.
I came home to spend time with my son, daughter, mother and brother. In a mad rush, my son helped me make some dishes for them to eat while I was gone. Deciding to be prudent, I thought, I am going up the night before. But instead of taking a nonstop, I wanted a few extra hours with my family, so opted to fly a double commute to New York first.
All was well, on the way up. On the little segment to Washington, however, I got on the plane, only to be taken off, because another jumpseater, had arrived. This was the last flight to Washington. “Oh, this is great, now I’m going to have to spend the night here in this crew lounge again, since I’m not going to a hotel for a few hours, and I don’t have a crash pad.
I decided to call my very good sister in the Lord. She’s a flight attendant out of New York and she’s like an angel in my life. Her phone was off,so I told her I’m stuck in New York and I’m going to the crew lounge. After getting over there, I was in the office for a few minutes, trying desperately to figure out Plan B, when in she walks! She’s laughing as she states, “I can’t believe your here!”
I told her on the phone call to her, “I realize this is the Lord, in my life, because I was based in New York when I went through the London incident, and have not been back to the domicile since, nor London. In a matter of days, the Lord took me back to show me how far I’ve come.
Her and I were both in the crew lounge and after trying another flight, I was bumped again at 6am. I went back downstairs and her and I had a special time together. I said, “You know,maybe I should transfer back here.” “You should! We could fly together and share my crash pad! Come back!” I laughed and said, “I cannot believe all os this is happening, but now I know nothing comes to me without going through the Father’s hands, good or bad.”
Now, I can look at the situation with my mother, brother, my job, and feel no fear, knowing that Christ is the one who strengthen’s me. It’s totally supernatural.
I am now trying on yet another, flight, and well,all I can say is, He knows what He’s doing, and if I stand or if I fall, I belong to Him!